These golden days of late summer just continue to drip like pearls.

Ed filled the new fish pond with water from the well last evening. It’s pretty deep, and I hope it won’t be a problem. I’m praying over it, that it is a source of joy.

I took Yukichan on a walk down the road to the south. Looking back, our fat Topi cat was plodding along behind. Yuki and I walked only a bit further and then had to turn around. Topi walks in the middle of the road!

Picked him up and took him behind the house. There we met Alex, Ed’s cat. Yuki and I tried to escape to the north, to head up the (gravel) road that way.

Alex is extremely vocal, and he was yowling at us as we skitted away. We thought we would out pace him. Not even a few tenths of a mile we looked back, and you guessed it: Alex was following us IN THE ROAD!

Turned around and headed toward the newly mowed hay field. Alex followed, yowling. Little Rosie Runabout, our tiny sprite of a white kitty, showed up in the hay field, a little spot of purity in the green surroundings. She loves to run fast and leap up on things.

I let Yuki off the leash to run around the big cylindrical hay bales, scattered around the field. She finds all sorts of interesting things to smell in the newly shorn grasses. It was very hard to lure her back to the house.

I headed in the door, and all three cats converged. Yuki was promised a treat as a lure. All pets are now inside, but I do not blame them for wanting to be soaking up this summer beauty, sweet air, sunshine, and freshly cut hay.

Alex and Rosie hunt every morning and there is always something on the sidewalk for us to admire. Cats really do feed on recognition. If you acknowledge their prey (mice, moles, shrews, gophers, and chipmunks) they tend to stop meowing about it and go off to find another. Such interesting creatures.

I have a few more things to get ready at Corgi Hollows North, for the interim pastor and his wife. I need to bring over a microwave and a couple of kitchen items.

While working at the hotel I noticed what appointed the kitchenettes in our king-suites. The cupboards and drawers were mostly bare, but the basic necessities were there. You really don’t need much to furnish a short-term kitchen!

It’s nice to have a microwave, though, even if there is a stove and finicky oven in this little “mother-in-law” apartment.

It’s fun to set up a little place for comfort.

Remember the woman who built a “prophet’s chamber” for Elisha? That always fascinated my mom, and I like to think I have one in my home, too.

I have always wanted to have a room for guests.

I gave Ed the option of having the guest room for an office as he moves back “home.” He said no—he wants us to have that space for our friends and family to stay whenever they can.

That warms my heart. We will find the space we need for Cheri, Ed, and me to live and work, and have a prophet chamber!

This is place of quiet and industry. That isn’t a conundrum. We get a lot done here in the midst of all this beauty.

Since I’ve already been accused of being “harsh” I guess I will address a couple of issues that sit in my craw uncomfortably, namely the three sins mentioned.

Sin is sin. It separates us from holiness, and even though our sins are covered by the blood of Christ’s sacrifice, sin is something the Bible teaches us to avoid.

I wrote about my 2026 word “truth” in the last post. Another of my 2026 words is “discipline.”

Discipline is really a character quality needed to fight sin. We can ask the Holy Spirit for help in conquering a sinful stronghold in our lives, but it boils down to self-discipline and a continual thought process that brings thoughts “captive” to righteousness.

As an observer and a participant in modern Christian culture, I see two things in particular that grieve my spirit, plus another that over-arches most sinful behavior.

Are you seeing the sin of gluttony? We can mask it in all sorts of health problems: personally, my thyroid has been abnormal, and thyroids really affect weight loss and gain. It’s my excuse.

Fornication, sex outside of marriage, seems to be implied with every person “living together” with someone….either sex these days! Lust is desiring what is forbidden, and fornication is the fruit of lust.

How dare you say that, Corgi?!

These are the days of Noah, would you not agree? Appearances matter, and the Bible instructs us to avoid all APPEARANCES of evil.

How close-minded! It is harder to do that in today’s culture than ever, so many just ignore that part.

But what if we were more concerned with discipline and holiness?

What would that look like to others?

Instead of pointing the finger outward, why not point it inward and test the spirit of your own actions.

Could someone think….?

We all make calls or judgments on people. We can’t help it. Appearance matters. I personally like to dress in thrift-store finds, and sometimes it borders on crazy. I don’t care. I love color and comfort. My appearance gives a vibe and I think I am okay with that, but if it is distracting and someone says something mean I take that into account!

But is my action glorifying to Christ? Am I modest? Am I deferring to others? Am I looking outward? Am I being kind? (another of my 2026 words)

I see a poster in a lot of my classrooms where I sub, it has several questions.

“Is it true?”

“Is it kind?”

“Is it helpful?”

These are good reminders to think about when saying or doing something. I approve.

As I think about how I judge people who may be having an issue with gluttony or fornication I need to always be kind in my words.

Selfishly, I may be assuming they know better!

Most likely they do not.

Lord, forgive the selfishness in my heart, and help me to see people as you see them.

But help me also to live a life that reflects your holiness. When possible, help me help others to understand your Word and what you desire from us.

I read the first chapter of Romans, and it is pretty harsh. Pointing to Scripture is a wonderful way to teach truth.

Ed and I discussed several belief systems this morning: Seventh Day Adventists, Scientology, and Christian Science. We looked up the founders, we read the Wiki version of their beliefs. It was an interesting discussion.

All of these veer off of the Bible in some way or another, either Old Testament or New. There is danger in veering off of Scripture, all of Scripture, and starting your own religion.

Does your religion allow gluttony and fornication? Selfishness?

Jesus commands us to repent. We shouldn’t justify our sins. When we repent we will find greater joy in following Christ.

His yoke is easy, and his burden is light. The peace and joy that comes from Jesus is not to be found anywhere else. He is the truth.

Christians may appear to be brainwashed by their strong faith, but it’s simply the out-working of true religion. Jesus really is wonderful. People who encounter Him really are changed.

Empowered.

Come, Lord Jesus!

MARANATHA!

I’m on a roll, here. My 2026 words were Truth, Kindness, and Discipline.

Wow. The power of suggestion!

It’s August, and I am seeing these themes all year.

As a conservative, I’m thrilled to see fraud addressed, health matters and the truth about vaccines coming to light. Truth matters.

As a believer I am thrilled to see this. Confusion is really a problem. I am memorizing Psalm 71 and the first verse states: Let me NOT be put to confusion! Let us all not be put to confusion!

Globally we are seeing change. I wonder about the great Reset that the Canadian prime minister hints at. Poor Canada! They are facing human rights issues that one could never have foreseen! Dear neighbors to my north—I feel for you!

What will happen economically this fall?

Will we have a reset and lose all of our assets?

If a “democratic socialist” ideology takes hold that will certainly be the case.

Are you prepared to LOSE IT ALL?

It has been predicted, so it is coming.

Confusion reigns about what America really represents. The Scandinavian flags all bear the Christian cross, a sign of their historical switch to following Christian law and principles.

America became a united nation through the pilgrims that came over on the Mayflower, then the founding fathers who were mostly Bible scholars and believers in Jesus Christ. Even Jefferson, and Franklin, the famous “deists” acknowledged the need for a sovereign God whom Americans must account to.

This is the basis of our law.

Christianity is lax. Over the centuries of Christian rule in western Europe and now, North America, we have seen the accountability and the moral fascia decay. Consequences are in play: Communism and Islam, both extremely authoritarian and cruel systems which violate personal freedom and choice.

Having a moral compass, Christian, is the most freeing policy that exists! Being accountable to the Creator, having a moral boundary that includes the Ten Commandments, is the most logical and benevolent system ever.

But the world is blind to this, and Satan is the ruler of this current realm.

Excited for the day when he is bound for 1,000 years!

My professor at my masters program, at the state university here in Minnesota, pointed out that any colonized country in the world is far more successful politically and economically than any country that WAS NOT COLONIZED.

This does not excuse the abuses that occurred, the “rape” of the natural resources, the mistakes made, and the power hungry politicians. Of course that happened. Human nature is wicked. All hearts are desperately wicked. (Jeremiah 17:9) All. (Yours and mine. No excuses. Stop lying to yourselves!)

But the point was made: Look at the nations formally colonized. Study their GDP. Study their forms of government. They learned much from Christian Western Culture and they profited from it, and the Protestant Work Ethic.

Talk to my professor. Yes, he taught at a secular state University. He was a realist, not apparently a believer in Christ, and a minority ethnically. I learned so much from him.

I had a class with him and one other student. She was from Nepal, and her father was a political figure there. The three of us met weekly for intense discussions after reading copious numbers of articles and texts on NGO’s. What interesting days, for me.

Back to the Truth stuff: The human race will strive for the solution. I have a copy of Lester Brown’s “The Twenty-Ninth Day” here. My mom kept my copy for years, and I found it on her book shelf. His solution to eliminate population is rather stark and unkind, but it IS a solution, and I believe there are puppet masters who really adhere to his ideas even now. Planned Parenthood, for one.

Just dig a little deeper. The horrors of occult power are right below the veneer.

The heart is desperately wicked.

Because Christianity, Western Christianity, like we have in Europe and Canada, wishy-washy stuff that winks at immorality, is more humane than Communism and Islam, the Anti-Christ will be a shoe-in as a world leader.

He will come promising everything good.

I think he is coming soon, and that means TRUE believers are disappearing from this realm.

Truth. Do you know it?

Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except by Him.

“I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but by me.”

His words. Direct quote.

So many take issue with this. So prideful! They will not bend the knee to this King of Kings, and they insist on living a life that is self-ordered. They know better than God, after all, right?

It boils down to believing the Bible, though, really. These words are in the Bible. Scripture is either true, or not.

My faith dictates that it is Truth.

I read today in Romans 9 that God hardened hearts for His purposes. That is a hard truth.

But I don’t have to like it to believe it. I don’t have to like hard truths. I must believe them.

I choose to follow the benevolent king, Jesus Christ. Isa Messiah! Yesu! He is called by different languages, yet HE IS KING JESUS!

He is king of my life, and I want desperately for Him to be King of YOURS.

You are on my snatch list, dear reader! Jude 23. Read it today.

I pray that you are saved, you and “your brethren!” (Luke 22:32)

In a recent conversation I was called harsh. This blog was called “harsh.”

I guess that there is a harsh reality: some people go to heaven, choose heaven. Everyone else goes to hell. That is harsh. I am concerned about this. Being wishy-washy isn’t my thing.

I don’t believe the Bible is wishy-washy. It’s clear. I don’t cross things out of Scripture that I don’t particularly like, nor do I try to explain them in kinder terms. Truth is simply truth, as Ed declared to me earlier this summer in a long morning coffee conversation.

Yes, truth is truth. It isn’t “my truth” nor “your truth.”

It’s simply truth.

Jesus is coming again to get us, believers. Soon and very soon we are going to see the King.

No compromise.

MARANATHA

This season of perfection continues. The stinging insects have been the only blight on this lovely month of August, and I do sense a bit of allergy oncoming. Ragweed.

But it’s so beautifully perfect each day, rosy clouds, sunshine, green trees and grass, blue skies.

How can we complain?

I battle the dark in my own soul, as I grieve, but the weather helps me refocus on the blessings.

Remember! We are going to see the Lord soon! No reason to grieve deeply!

MARANATHA!

I just feel it. That isn’t Biblical, nor scientific, but as I look outward I see the proximity to Christ’s return.

Ed and I went to a St. Paul Saints game last night. It was fun, but we didn’t stay for the whole game. It’s quite the drive to that side of the cities, and the game goes WAY past my bedtime. (ha, ha!)

It was a work outing for Ed, and we got dinner included, so very nice. I really enjoyed meeting some of his coworkers.

I’m still slogging through some old projects that needed completion. Getting a great sense of satisfaction with each one being finished.

There is a latch hook rug that has been in the works for at least a decade, different kids working on it. I am so close to getting it done, and it is quite large! I think it will go in the guest room on the floor. The colors match the painting in there. The print is an Edgar Payne print of a mesa scene, turquoise and rust. The latch hook is a cactus scene.

It’s not my favorite design, but it MUST be finished!

I’m working on preparing Corgi Hollows North for a brief stay by the interim pastor for our church.

Also, ongoing, is the looming task of settling my mom’s things. She had 12 grandchildren, and we want to make sure that everyone gets the chance to have cherished items from her home. Estate stuff is a burden.

Cast your burdens on the Lord! In Him we can put our trust! His yoke is easy, and His burden is LIGHT!

Still being quiet. I need quiet. I need my mind to process everything with quiet days.

These sunny days are just perfect for that.

How thankful I am!

Ed named my habit of making lists, constantly. He called it “bullet journaling.”

Today I’m going to bullet journal some things, sharing thoughts with my readers. So much has happened to me over the past year, that I can only think in ideas.

So, fasten your seat belt….(ha, ha!)

I’m listening to Color Theory at the moment, “Glory Days.” It’s a great song. Find it and be inspired.

Music is such a part of my whole day. I started the day with a gorgeous sunrise, and a “chat” with my favorite artist/influencer (who I pray for daily!) –who is currently in Khazakstan giving a concert. It’s always fun to chat with someone on the other side of the world. I’m getting up, while they are shutting down for the night.

Ed and I had devotions this morning, and true to form–the Scripture just TOTALLY MATCHED our day! I always love this!

I’m memorizing Psalm 71. I’m putting my old brain through the paces.

After Mom’s death I spent time organizing stuff that had been moved around from the basement water project. It was quiet and therapeutic work, a job that I had no energy for during these past years. It loomed over me.

Things that had been neglected or need deep cleaning have been addressed.

Had a house guest, Carl Teichrib, author of “Game of Gods,” and a good brother in Christ! Ed, Cheri and I had GREAT conversation (like always!) when he and his wonderful wife visit Corgi Hollows. Over the years I feel like they have become family. He is headed to “Burning Man,” with a strong presentation for helping people find TRUTH.

He keeps his hand on the pulse of cultural trends.

The truck needed a new transmission seal, second time in a year. Sad face. Something isn’t right with that design. $$$

Keeping our fleet running is so expensive.

We have thoughts about my mom’s house and how to deal with it. Lots of thoughts. My brother is (thankfully) in charge. I hate making decisions!

Of course, I do make decisions. I must.

Cheri, back from Alaska, is planning her future after college. This is big stuff.

Ed is moving back to Corgi Hollows, and this is joyous news! We are back in the mode of changing rooms around to accommodate his living needs. Always something! Busy.

Rosie, our new kitty, is a welcome addition to the mousing team. She is just a little sprite, pure white, with yellow eyes. She loves Corgi Hollows, and she’s already explored our “neighborhood.” Alex, Ed’s cat, has taken her on hunting lessons. It’s pretty cute. Topi is gaining weight and we are all concerned about him. He just hangs around on the front step, mostly. Such a wonderful cat!

Corgi Hollows, in the country, has a mouse issue. They love to come in and run rampant. Old houses, especially ones like mine with odd lay-out, have nooks and crannies where they get inside. My cats keep me sane. I HATE catching mice. Please, cats! Do it for me!

Thinking a lot about the Rapture. When I see the fraud in Minnesota, abortion, the trend toward socialism nationwide, the wars that abound, the anti-Semitic hatred that seems to grow by the day—I can easily feel discouraged.

My hope is in Christ alone! When things seem spinning out of control I run to the One who controls everything and remind myself that He works all things together for good, His purposes.

I have signed up to be more active with the church worship team, and guess what? I will be playing the double bass.

I have one, and though I only had a few viola lessons in the past, I think I can manage learning the bass. I replaced my old and decrepit guitar with a lovely Yamaha, and I really want to learn “Arial Boundaries,” by Michael Hedges. I PLAN to take guitar lessons just to learn this piece.

I am healthy again, although my YMCA pool has been closed for two weeks and I just couldn’t bring myself to swim in the lake. (I fear the pike and the muskies). I sat on the beach, and I plan to go to the beach this afternoon. One of the lakes nearby has ecoli right now. Won’t go there. I love that lake. It’s my favorite. I learned to sail on that lake. They used to rent out little catamarans and my mom and I sailed around that lake all summer.

I wish they still did that.

Changes.

I will go to the other neighborhood lake instead. This is Minnesota. I have multiple choices.

Ed is on a “Mom, eat more protein!” kick.

Since I don’t cook much, this is a challenge. I need to open up a can of tuna, cook a chicken breast, fry up some hamburger more often. It takes time.

Apparently it is a current trend to get more protein.

My body continues to heal from my cancer experience last fall. I am not the same. Changes. I take kelp most days, vitamins, ivermectin, sour-sop leaf tea, and barley tea. I am loving the barley tea that I drank in Japan. I ordered Japanese, Korean, and Chinese barley tea. I prefer the Japanese type best. We are all drinking it now.

For breakfast this morning I am eating that zucchini pancake we tried and liked in Japan. It’s satisfying. I want to try more of an Israeli breakfast this fall. I think the added vegetable first thing in the morning is good.

It’s been a joy to get garden produce from family and friends. (Thank you!)

The beauty of this mild summer has been conducive to exercise and health.

I have also finished about 10 projects that have been festering in partial completion; baby blankets, hook rugs, crochet and knitting things. What a great feeling!

Also percolating in my mind is our mentorship program. I still have not completed some of the basic steps to starting this up. Ed has been encouraging me, as have many others! Our team is fired up.

We have all been traveling, or up north at the cabin this summer, so it’s been tough to launch our interviews with the team.

Everything in its time! Everything that the LORD starts is happening on His schedule.

The acorns are ricocheting off the roof. It sounds like shots fired. It happens constantly, so it’s unnerving. The pets shy at the sounds, too. The sounds of late summer.

The blue Jays fight in the treetops.

My garden was a complete disaster this year. My buttercup squash flowered but did not have time to produce a fruit. The herbs are doing okay, but the tomatoes were pathetic. Even my cucumber and zucchini suffered!

My pumpkin looks pretty. We will see if that works out.

Ed is digging a fish pond for my 3 fish. I named them Xiao Zhan, Wang Yibo, and Yang Yang. They have been healthy and happy in their urn, but they will love the pond next year. The Japanese garden is really happening!

I missed all the weddings I had this summer because of my mom’s cancer and death. I still cannot believe she was gone less than four weeks after her diagnosis!

I have said over and over how grateful I am, that she did not have to live with the knowledge of cancer for months—-she found out, she accepted it, she gracefully passed into eternity with Jesus. I cannot regret that!

I do still think she’s next door, and I get a pang when I remember she isn’t.

I have so much gratefulness to God for being so merciful and kind.

I miss my cousin who lives in Arizona. She was here for the funeral, a balm to my grieving soul. I’m thinking about a quick trip down there if I can find a cheap flight.

Travel is always on my mind. I love it.

Margaret is expecting baby number 3 in February. I am so blessed to be able to zip over there and watch her two boys while she goes to doctor appointments or errands. Living close by is a blessing!

I have 7 grandchildren, one step granddaughter! My family grows! God is so good!

School is starting soon. I check the website often to see if any teachers know of days they need off. The days will come, probably more toward the middle of September. I was at school last September when my tumor took over my life. Can that be a whole year ago?

Yes. Time just flies by.

There. I unloaded my brain on you, reader! The bullets caught myself up, and filled in the gaps of anyone wondering how my “quiet” days are going.

I do miss you, friends, but I need this time to reset. I need to process loss and organize my new changes.

Mom was such huge part of my life. It is weird to plan my day without taking her time into consideration!

I do get a lot done. This is compensation.

State Fair time starts NEXT WEEK!

What a summer.

The Feast of Trumpets is approaching. Will this be the year? Perhaps TODAY!

MARANATHA!

I was overjoyed to meet a friend for coffee the other day. She does not live in Minnesota anymore, so we see each other rarely.

Both of us have had extremely similar life experiences, so it’s especially sweet to share our like-mindedness, our reactions, our ongoing challenges. We get each other.

We both love prophecy, and agree on our theology, so that is a joy.

We chatted about the things happening in the world. As we see more and more “signs of the times” we are filled with hope.

The Bible prophecies fearful things about the last days. Scary stuff. Anyone who reads the passages referring to “last days” should rightly blanch at the events predicted.

Preterists think everything has already happened. It’s the reigning theology these days. Personally, I have never seen a description of the sky rolling back like a scroll in some testimony. I believe that is still something to come.

“Things to Come,” is a book I recommend. It’s written by D. Pentecost. (What a great name!) It speaks of things that are still to come in the prophetic timeline. He wrote it decades ago, so some things have indeed “come.”

Because of that FACT, I believe we are truly about to embark on the seven year tribulation, and before that, believers are swept away.

As things manifest on Biblical proportions I had envisioned anxiety and fear being a part of our response. In fact, I am seeing the exact opposite! Those of us who believe in the Scriptures, who have put our faith in Christ, who are aware of the prophetic timeline, are filled with hope and joy!

Jesus is coming soon! We are NOT appointed to wrath!

I have been increasingly persecuted for stating my beliefs, and I imagine the levels of persecution against Christians around the world are rising (if my own experience is any measure). That is all in the predictions. It’s expected.

The Great Tribulation does not involve the “Church,” or bride of Christ. That dispensation will come to an end with the Rapture, the Harpazo, the catching away.

But there will be so many left on earth who will be filled with regret, who will be subject to the beast system.

Recently I had to explain this term to someone. I was rather surprised that it isn’t a more well-known term to those who (supposedly) read Scripture.

The book of Revelation describes a person called the “Anti-Christ.” There are other figures that aid this leader, who sets himself up as a savior of the world. “The Beast” is one of them. In chapter 13 there is a description of an economic system that requires a “mark” to buy or sell. Economics. The Bible actually describes the mark as the number “666.”

This buying/selling system is overseen by this beast figure, hence we prophecy people call it the “beast system.” No, that is not a Biblical term. It’s extra-Biblical. It’s simply a descriptive term.

It could also be referred to as the “globalist system” as it will be global. Everyone is under it. The Bible says that anyone who bucks the system will be beheaded.

Gruesome. Maybe that is why so many don’t read about it. It is frightening, for those who will have to face these circumstances.

Nazi Germany was a bit of a taste of what is coming. The Bible describes something far worse than what happened under Hitler. Annihilation if one doesn’t comply or fit the sanctioned status (bearing the mark).

But we believers won’t be here. Those scary events are not about believers. WE are not appointed to the wrath that is coming.

The seven year Tribulation is a time where God’s wrath will be poured out upon the earth, and He will deal with His bride, Israel, and bring ALL of ISRAEL to Himself. Every single Jewish person will come to the Messiah! They will bend their knees to the Holy One!

There will be two witnesses who proclaim truth, there will be 144,000 Jewish evangelists, 12,000 from each of the tribes started by the sons of Jacob.

Is this too amazing to believe? Too preposterous?

We serve an omnipotent God who made the Universe. He knows the DNA in each and every person alive on this world. He keeps track. This is an easy thing for Him to bring about.

Jesus, Messiah, will be embraced as LORD OF LORDS AND KING OF KINGS!

Like I said, I am excited and hopeful. The millennial kingdom is coming, where Jesus Christ will REIGN on this earth!

After the bridal feast (which is traditionally a “week” or seven days—or years in this context) we return with Christ to this earth to reign with Him. Since there are orders in heaven we have yet to see how or who will reign and where. That is not disclosed.

Sure seems like we will know soon!

What hope we have in Jesus!

Yes, this earth is full of beauty. I wake up to one of the most beautiful sights every single day; lush fields, green trees, colorful skies! The wildlife here at Corgi Hollows is simply amazing. I am truly blessed.

But I recognize that this beauty is only temporal. Those of you who gaze at mountain grandeur and ocean magnificence must also acknowledge that the beauty to come will far exceed what you see today.

It is what is to come. Unimaginable peace and love, beauty and joy.

We are getting close.

MARANATHA!

I must say a word of thanks here. I have received many cards, personally, at the passing of my mom. I also received a book, “By Still Waters,” from whom I had no indication of the giver..

I am reading it!

Some of you have emailed me your thoughts and prayers!

I haven’t had the energy, nor time to reply to these lovely messages individually, but I intend to.

My sister-in-law has been spear-heading the reception of memorials and other wishes from the funeral. I hope to take some time and go over these soon.

Some of you know that I “shut-down” after my husband passed away. Basically I was a zombie after my dad passed, too. I never was able to read the cards and wishes from either of those deaths.

I saved the ones from my husband’s burial, but I need to find my dad’s cards. I know my mom saved them.

I am remiss in conveying my thoughts personally, to so many who wished me well and sympathy.

Trauma hits in all different ways.

My mom’s passing was not traumatic, and I feel entirely different.

I still think that I need to “run over there,” find out what she is needing at the moment, check on….

It’s been second nature for all these years. Hard to break habits, isn’t it?

I get a little pang of emotion when I realize that there is no longer a need or an opportunity to share things with my mom.

Loss.

Anyway, I am very grateful for all of you who have expressed your comfort, who still attempted to express it even when I dropped the ball the last times…

Thank you.

I wrote about God’s love a few weeks ago. In God’s infinite sense of humor He has reminded me over and over since then —

He loves us. He loves me.

I had the book “A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23” out and I read the first chapter again. I led the singing of that Psalm at my mom’s funeral, so it was on my mind.

That chapter talks about the shepherd purchasing 30 prime ewes and marking them with his own marking.

I just felt his emotions. I tend to understand God’s love in light of how I see creation and the wonderful animal kingdom.

I know that the “wild” can be cruel. Survival of the fittest, we all hear.

But there are moments of sweetness displayed in creation. The look in the eyes of my dog when I tell her that I love her, the slow blink of my cats when I slow blink at them.

Don’t tell me there isn’t feeling, and I tend to see this in light of God’s demonstrated love for us, His children.

Of course it’s on a different level, one that I struggle to comprehend. I am content to hold the imagery of myself and my pets’ relationship. I see that love and simply know that it is a shadow of God’s love for me.

What about human love?

Well, humans are imperfect, sinners, with tendencies to wound. We all must learn to love through our own relationships. Unconditional love is a feat, but we can strive for it.

Marriages can start all rosy-eyed and morph into something that only the will can help. Children can reject you, turn away, exclude you, dishonor you (against God’s own command!)

And yet, as any parent knows, it is almost impossible to NOT love your child.

There are notable exceptions, primarily when mental illness is involved.

So is God’s love for us.

God is teaching me about His love for me, right now, as I grieve my mom’s death.

I got a really bad cold 3 days after the funeral. I was literally in bed, feverish, and congested, miserable. I slept and slept!

I got up this morning and I feel like I can enter society again.

God’s love for me let my body show its weakness and the need to STOP and rest!

I have had a few days of golden summer weather, sunshine and cool air (this is normal Minnesota summer!)

Funny: my dad’s funeral was on a day that there was a blizzard. Being a quiet sort of man, it seemed appropriate that fewer people were even able to show up! We shivered in the driving snow at the cemetery.

My mom’s funeral was on a record-breaking day of heat! The index was 112*!!! We stood at the grave sweating. Many people were able to come to the funeral! (Thank you to all who came!)

My Swedish dad and my Norwegian mom had their differences even in death! (Ha Ha!)

Interesting, as I write this a song came up in my Apple Music line up (randomly). It’s my grief song.

“The Lake Isle,” by Ola Gjello.

I listened to it over and over after my husband Brian died.

The Lord is reminding me that He is caring for me, loving me. This beautiful piece makes my spirit soar even in grief.

Grief sits in the center of your breast, above your heart. It can be stifling.

We need some language of the heart, music, to ease the pain. Soaring sound.

We do not grieve like the heathen.

“For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

“In this world you WILL have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Come Quickly, Lord!

MARANATHA!

There is a passage of Scripture that both my mom and I were obsessed with.

“But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him. For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep. For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words.”

II Thessalonians 4:13-18

Now, I speak this with the authority (no one can say otherwise!) of talking daily with my mom, living next door to my mom, having been spiritually brought-up by my mom, attending multiple prophecy-related events, reading countless works on this matter together…

Jesus is coming again. He will gather his own in a “catching away” (also coined “rapture”) and we will be with Him.

Mom and I believed we would both see that day, but instead she got to see Him first. She left us on Monday.

Lucky lady.

Now, she was absolutely not fearing death, but the process of dying was a bit daunting for her. I will happily report that she passed peacefully, quickly, and I think sooner than some of us anticipated. The cancer that had been growing in her abdomen became the life-draining force.

This post is about my mom, but I will interject that I still ask the Lord, in Jesus’ name, according to His will, to be raptured with the church. I still want that. Like her, I dislike the thought and process of death. Selfishly, I want to just be snatched up to be with Him and all my loved ones in heaven.

Mom and I had the same thoughts, but she had to endure until the end. Here, in this life.

She did it well! She was gracious each and every day, until she lost consciousness, about three days before she passed.

A steady stream of friends came through and blessed her. They thanked her for the things she did for them in her long life, 92 years, or even in the past few years, as many of her “old” friends passed away.

Comfort one another with these words!

Mom is with Jesus now, because I believe the words from Scripture: Absent from the body, present with the Lord.

I also believe she is seeing those she knew who have passed long before.

Mom was a beautiful and intelligent woman. Her quiet life in a suburb of Minneapolis had quite the larger effect, worldwide.

The daughter of a minister, she was a life-long scholar of the Bible.

She loved to read, and her book list was beyond impressive. She was a speed reader, and her standards for what she put into her mind were truly stellar. She loved history, gardening, biography, and classics. She would read any “new” Christian book with a critical eye. Her serving on the church library committee was a source of joy for her for decades. I think no-one could possibly have read as many books as she at her church…but I can stand corrected. Her scope of knowledge was unparalleled in anyone I know.

She taught herself to play the piano, played a woodwind in her high school band, and graduated valedictorian. She served her church by playing the piano and singing in the choir. She loved to help at the nursing home church services, accompanying hymn singing, faithfully, for years.

She went to Northwestern College (now in Roseville, MN, but then, downtown Minneapolis).

She graduated from the Swedish School of Nursing in Minneapolis, and her nursing skills defined her for life. Her children were all raised with a keen sense of what was contaminated.

She loved the outdoors, mowing, and landscape planning. That landscape part she passed down to several of her offspring.

She was a capable artist, could paint and draw anything. One of her paintings adorns my wall in my bedroom. Of Norwegian descent, she enjoyed taking a class in rosemaling, a form of decorative painting. She had an artistic eye, and color and balance mattered to her. She was skilled in any hobby she attempted.

Her handwriting was distinctive and iconic (we all knew Juanita’s handwriting!) and her calligraphy skills were just lovely.

She was a perfectionist, and everything she did was with care and planning, whether writing, preparing food, or keeping her house clean.

Her dad was an Evangelical Free Church pastor, pastoring the same church in southwestern Minnesota for over 30 years, along with producing a radio program. She would often sing on the radio program. Her mom was the daughter of a traveling evangelist, Oscar C. Knutson. She was privileged to meet many great preachers and speakers growing up, and she often told little stories of how her mom made delicious meals for these special (and famous!) guests.

What interesting stories we heard about our grandparents and great-grandparents! They were an illustrious bunch!

Of her three children, one was a financial businessman, one in financial markets, and one (myself!) a teacher.

She married a teacher, but he became a businessman, and she was a great help to him. I think that anyone who knew them as a couple would agree that mom was simply the most important person to my dad, and he contentedly provided for her his whole life. They were married 65 years.

We children celebrated that marriage.

Among her grandchildren there are soldiers, musicians, artists, designers, computer techies, writers, world travelers, and home-schooling moms.

Her great grandchildren were a joy to her! She loved taking her oldest “great” to the arboretum, hosting Christmas smorgasbord with all of them, and encouraging them all in Scripture memorization.

She paid anyone in the family $500 to read the Bible through. Scripture was so incredibly important to her, and there was nothing she wouldn’t sacrifice for that to be passed down.

She was preceded in death by four of her children: her oldest son, two daughters-in-law, and a son-in-law.

She handled that with great strength and the sweetness of knowing a sovereign God.

She had the hope of II Thessalonians, chapter four!

My mom led people to the Lord, supported evangelical missions all over the world, faithfully served the Lord in her own congregation for decades. She prayed for people.

One of her personal rules was that she would not eat anything before she had read Scripture for the day. She truly valued the Word of God, and was led by it her entire life.

If I had a theological question she almost always knew pertinent Bible references to shed light on the answer.

She also “worked out her salvation in fear and trembling” even up to her last days! She took that command seriously! She never took her eternal salvation for granted.

She served the Lord faithfully. I am probably the prime witness of this, and I stand on my testimony of her faithfulness. Of course, many others would also say the same.

My mother and I both prayed for the salvation of everyone we know. I know her greatest desire was to see people saved: children, grandchildren, those we married, friends and relatives, neighbors.

I got this burning desire from her, I think. The missionary mindset is just a part of who we both are!

She wants to spend eternity with ALL of her loved ones.

So I choose to keep up that mission. I will never read as many books as she did, be as disciplined and perfect as she, in my own endeavors; she was uniquely Juanita!

But I can carry the mantle of a desire to see MANY come to Christ Jesus!

MARANATHA, Lord!

I look forward to seeing my mom again SOON!

After spending the night with my mom, someone who is fading from this life, I can only describe my state as “raw.’

There are so many things playing together with the passing of a loved one.

“Oh death, where is thy sting?”

But death is still really hard. It is hard to watch, it is hard to accept, it is simply the hardest thing for humans.

I admire those who have found life purpose and calling in ministering to those dying and those who are dealing with death. It takes a special strength.

I don’t have it.

I hate suffering, even if it brings about something good as God teaches us.

I am not as compassionate as I could be, I simply don’t have the ability to force sympathy—I would far rather run from it. I feel raw. What a weakness.

Getting through these days, watching my mom pass away slowly and steadily, is very difficult for me. I want to be of use and service, but I struggle with the process and the seemingly endless progression toward the inevitable outcome.

I know she is frustrated as well. She wanted a distress-free passing. But, I think distress is unavoidable in death.

We contemplate our own deaths as we see our loved one die.

It’s natural, I guess.

I’m tired. Thanks for reading my dark thoughts. I don’t suffer in silence. I vent here. I’m being raw.

We hold on to the word that the grave does NOT have the victory.

That gets us through.

MARANATHA!