It was 1989, and Brian and I got married on this date that year.

I should be celebrating an anniversary today, and I sort of do, but it’s lonely.

I visited his grave on his birthday, the other day. With each year the ache grows duller.

I still feel a bit of anger, lostness, disappointment, loss, grief, wonder as I stand at the gravestone which repeats a hopeful phrase from Scripture: “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard. “

Brian said that often.

I remember a pretty wedding, with lots of guests.

This year my mom would have called me to say something about this day.

She is probably talking things over with Brian up in heaven. They were great buddies!

I don’t know what they are experiencing, but I know it’s wonderful. They are with Jesus.

To be absent in the body is to be present with the Lord.

I am headed to school for the day, then to swim. As my body recovers from having cancer last year I am really struggling with staying well and fit. I have seen great decline.

Self discipline has been hard.

Truth, kindness, discipline. These are my 2026 words, and they are just perfect for this year! Never have I needed to emphasize these words more in my life.

I was telling my students about focusing on virtues, and how I picked three words each year to see how they crop up in my life, how interesting it is when they hit my radar. I mentioned that I needed to find three words for 2027.

One sweet boy said, “How about excitement!”

I laughed. “That is a good one!” I replied.

Excitement. Inspiration. Groundedness.

These words followed. Interesting?

I have Youth Group tonight. I am a leader now. What a blessing!

Loved the retreat that happened a couple of weeks ago at Camp Shamineau. It was at that camp, in third grade, when I prayed to have Jesus be LORD of my life.

I never forgot that.

So many camps in my life, but that was a memorable moment.

Jesus is Lord of my life. Completely, wholly. I am so grateful. I can face my pain knowing He cares.

He loves me. Amazing fact that that is!

I choose to honor Him and trust Him, even on the sad days.

He’s coming for me.

Do you have Him as your Lord and Savior?

MARANATHA!

Let me encourage you to read this lovely, hope-filled Psalm today.

I have been memorizing it, so I try to quote it every day. I am still using my cheat sheet, the first letters of each word, but I am making progress.

In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust. Let me not be put to confusion.

Deliver me!

It is just SO good!

You will find sweet encouragement by grafting it into your soul.

Although the midterm elections were a complete disaster for my people, conservatives with a Biblical worldview, somehow the results are exactly what we anticipate!

OUR HOPE IS IN THE LORD GOD, THE MAKER OF HEAVEN AND EARTH!

He is in charge of every government. He wields the power through kings and lords, presidents and politicians.

He brings His plans to fruition, and when I see the salt and light diminishing I can only PRAISE GOD that He has a plan, and according to Scripture, the plan to catch us away from this mess. The Restrainer will be taken away, as prophesied. We are seeing this!

Persecution will come. Holding Biblical values is extremely unpopular in this ever increasingly Islamic world.

Fraud will abound.

The people have spoken: everyone is fine with fraud.

(I am not)

So, as one who gets easily discouraged in this difficult and troubled world, my tendency is to pray.

Keep a low profile and pray.

I will cry in my closet, focus on the sweetness in my life, and power through the persecution.

I will ignore the haters and love my enemies as I encounter them (which I will, every single day.)

I will find my “tribe” and be myself with them.

I will be kind and courteous to everyone.

I will fix my eyes on Jesus, and trust Him in every encounter.
I will hope in Him alone, tell His truth, and focus on sharing the simplicity of the Gospel: Jesus Saves.

We must begin to accept the terrible stories of the martyrs as our own, meeting rejection and pain with trust and love.

But I do hope that the Rapture comes soon. It is our blessed hope, His glorious appearance!

I am looking for a little sailboat these days. It’s the time to buy, and I want to get back into sailing. The Christopher Cross song is so appropriate today…

MARANATHA!

I love fall. I love the color, the temperatures, the activities, the harvest…

But I love all the seasons, so I am glad God gives us the variety.

I didn’t want this summer to end, and now I’m wishing this golden time would last forever.

I am very busy.

Too busy.

I have my days mapped out for weeks, and it all must happen.

There are days when I long for a partner to share life’s burdens and joys…more burdens, I guess, and that is why I am not exactly attractive!

Life was easier with a partner.

But I am learning. Slowly. Whenever something new pops up with taxes, or home ownership, or some problem that must be taken care of…

Car stuff, financial matters….

I make mistakes and I fix them, ask for advice, and plow through the things I dislike.

Life is hard.

I am thankful for my brother who is good at taking care of business.

Still, with all the “normal” issues I sometimes feel that anything above and beyond can be my tipping point into chaos.

That is where I turn to God wholeheartedly, trusting Him to get me through.

And He is faithful.

But these days are golden, and they pass so quickly. Each day should be savored.

I listened to a content creator remind us that we shouldn’t dwell on the past, nor worry about the future, but seek the Lord for today.

Today is an autumn day, golden and perfect.

Rain is predicted this afternoon.

I got to babysit my grandsons this morning.

Good things, good times.

God provides.

MARANATHA!

I just got back from a week of sun bathing at my family’s place in Arizona.

Sun and laughter, my cousin is my medicine which I regularly take at my age.

The unheated pool was a little nippy, but I swam about an hour each day.
It was wonderful.

I processed.

I grieved, I thought, I soaked up the sun. I drank coffee and ate delicious food.

So, now I feel I understand normal grief.

It is far gentler and easier to process normal grief than traumatic grief. God has given me a gift in knowing what that is like.

You may ask why I didn’t have normal grief when my dad passed away. I was still in the throes of trauma, and exhausted from the nights of caring for him. I was a zombie after he passed.

I miss my mom and dad. I still have things to tell them.

Thankful that I KNOW I will see them again, as I believe what the Word of God promises.

We are believers. We have hope.

Let’s take a gander at the world today: Europe’s old cities destroyed, war in Iran, heads of state peeping out at things like prairie dogs—wondering what will become of the USA, Canada, China, Russia, Ukraine…

Election season is upon us. The Democratic Socialists are poised to retake power across the board.

God raises up the winners. It’s supernatural for His purposes. He says so, in Scripture.

We must still vote in this “matrix” of existence, citizens of this world.

I am finding solace in my loved ones and all that they mean to me. I am blessed. I have five wonderful children, supportive in-laws, and sweet grandchildren.

God is taking care of me.

The house next door will be up for sale here, soon.

Do you want to be my neighbor? You may have seen the beautiful fields and forests around Corgi Hollows. It is peaceful and sweet here. I do pray for a good neighbor. Pray with me?

Two weeks ago my sweet friends, Carl and Leanne Teichrib came with their lovely friend from Manitoba, and we went to the Ren Fest here together. A fun day, seeing the sights and rubbing shoulders with the pagans. We all wore costumes.

What a privilege to be with them, as they are the quintessential folk to attend such gatherings with…

Carl wrote the book “Game of Gods,” and I sure hope you have a copy and have read it. He is currently just through attending a council on world religion, and at the Ren Fest he had recently returned from “Burning Man.” In the damp and cold Minnesota spring he ventures to Paganicon here in Minnesota. That is how we became friends. Brian and I had first met him at a prophecy conference in Moorhead, MN.

We didn’t have time to chat much this past Ren Fest weekend, but he is writing up his experiences on substack. Please check him out! Subscribe! I am shamelessly promoting him because he is someone I trust and is so worth learning from. He is a wonderful brother in Christ. Leanne and I are two peas in a pod when it comes to having fun…! Love having her come.

I flew home to a pretty bad headache, so I missed church and my Chinese Bible Study yesterday. I didn’t feel up to subbing today, either, but I plan to sub tomorrow….getting back in the saddle.

Actually I have been subbing so much already this school year that I haven’t had much time for anything else.

Ed has the Japanese garden’s pond almost finished and needs to get it in shape for the cold of winter. The Farmer’s Almanac predicts a mild and dry winter for this area. El Nino is a player.

Leaves are still falling, but the glorious color is past. I am looking out at a new neighbor’s new house, now. Before this structure was built I couldn’t see any other homes from my windows, even Corgi Hollows North was obscured from view. I feel like I am seeing change on so many levels.

Change.

I never have liked it. It’s something I must accept.

I do like to travel, so I hope to be off again sometime soon.

Pet News: Yuki and Rosie are still figuring each other out, but Rosie is such a wonderful little personality! Topi needs to lose 4 pounds, and that is difficult. Alex is living his best life. Blessings.

So much good. I am comforted.

God is good!

MARANATHA!

I feel inspired to list some very beautiful music today. Check it out:

Handel Concertos, No. 2, F major, Largo, and all of No. 7

R Vaughan Williams: Prelude on the Hymn Tune ‘Rhosymedre’

Brahms: Six Piano Pieces, Opus 118, No. 2 Intermezzo

Jeremy Sans: Persuasion, Italian Aria

Egil Hovland: Stay With Us

Josef Rheinberger: Abendlied

J S Bach: Sleepers Awake

Ola Gjeilo: The Lake Isle

That is enough to feed your soul today.

I love Jeremiah 29:11. It’s that verse that I recite in my mind regularly, if not constantly. But just a couple chapters later, in chapter 31, verse 3, there is a statement: I have loved you with an everlasting love.

A few years ago I purchased a little book for all of my children, a copy for each. It’s called “Just Decrees for Your Life,” by Sebastien Richard.

I am no prosperity gospel proponent, as you already know, but this book is Scripture to be read out loud, declared, and thought of in our daily lives.

There is no magic, just truth.

Growing up I dealt with a poor self image. Those of you who know me (in person) see a short, stocky, plain gal. I look like a northern European peasant.

But in my family I was an anomaly. I have tall, slender relatives. I never felt my appearance was okay, and that is sad, because God made me. I let the beauty standards of the 70’s and 80’s fix my mindset.

But beauty isn’t everything about a person. I was always told “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised.”

I believe that. It is Scripture, after all.

But over time I felt unloved and unworthy by the world’s standards. It sort of seeped into my core.

Age did me no favors!

God doesn’t give up on us, though, and I kept asking Him why He loved me. What was there to love? I’m just a selfish sinner, homely and worth little.

I could see His amazing care for me, but I didn’t understand it.

When tragedies hit my life (I can truly relate to JOB) I wondered if it was punishment or discipline, persecution or God’s rejection.

Tragedies are part of life. Some of us deal with more of them than others.

But this season of quiet grief and loss I have been “declaring” Jeremiah 31:3 out loud.

Everlasting love. God loves me with an everlasting love. ME.

Unworthy me.

What in the world does He see fit to love in me? I certainly see nothing.

But HE HAS declared His love for me.

And I start to believe it.

That I am saved by Christ’s sacrifice is something my belief has accepted for my life. I put my faith in Christ. I am declared righteous by His atonement. My salvation is solid. Christ alone.

But the worthiness of God’s love still comes hard for me to fathom.

I don’t understand it at all.

Why in the world??—

Would He love me?

A light seeps in the dark room, though, lately. It is like a matter of faith for me. Perhaps it is for you, too?

He loves me. He declares His love for even me. I need to believe it, and perhaps, just perhaps, I start to, even in my old age.

I don’t see myself as God sees me. He created me. I am His handiwork, certainly affected by this fallen, sinful world. God sees something lovable.

My heart is being softened. I see progress.

We are loved.

Now we see through a glass darkly. It’s only a part of the picture. We will see HIM, face to face, and that is all we need. We need to be looking at HIM, and not ourselves.

God is love.

MARANATHA!

Whenever life gives a major change it is wise to trim the sails.

The gales of change can be hard to manage, and life must take a slower, but steady, path forward. Smaller sails are sufficient for progress.

For me, trimming the sails means streamlining my calendar. Fewer moments to spend with friends and family, but more time for mental clarity and health.

It’s a bit selfish, but it protects the body and the mind.

Also, grief has a way of rising up and overwhelming everything. It sabotages like a breaking wave on the shore.

I find my feet mired in the unexpected surge.

As we navigate my mother’s passing and subsequent settlement of her affairs, I have tried to keep up with the commitments of normal life: teaching, swimming, church, and housekeeping.

I must go through my mom’s things, and it is a blessing to see so many interesting and sweet memories surface. This huge task will soon be complete and life can resume its hum.

Perhaps.

We don’t know what the future holds, but we know who holds the future.

Ed came out for a work break to chat about Artificial Intelligence when I got home from school today. Watching global trends can be concerning. I try to trim my sails regarding information, but we all cannot help keeping current with the obvious change.

Politics, tech, spirituality; all these things fascinate and affect.

They contribute to the currents.

Perhaps this isn’t a storm in my life, as has been the case in past losses, but the gale is significant. It’s nothing to ignore, or I will be on a sinking ship.

Better to be steady and cautious.

Come soon, Lord Jesus!

MARANATHA!

I subbed my first day yesterday, and thankfully, it was quite nice. It was fun to greet the kids from the elementary school at the Middle School.

I’m practically a grandma to all of them, so it’s reassuring for them to see me again. Sweet smiles.

I have a thing for strawberries, and the kids know it. I got about 20 drawn pictures of strawberries yesterday.

My mom liked strawberries in decor, too, and I am gleaning some of those things from her home.

Corgi Hollows North is going up for sale.

New neighbors for us here at Corgi Hollows…and close ones, at that.

These two homes have always shared many things, including a driveway and a mailbox stand, but of course multiple other things as well.

I pray that the right people get that lovely piece of land.

Our new neighbors to the south (also a home that was once a part of the original land) got a lovely little chestnut horse over the weekend.

It likes to canter around the pasture, and it calls to its people regularly. It seems a sweet personality. I think it needs a buddy, but perhaps in time.

It is bittersweet going through my (very organized) mom’s home. I find little things from my childhood and wonder at my memories.

I can’t get rid of stuff yet, I must sit with things for awhile and refresh those olden days. Soon it will go all away.

We are waiting for the grand-kids to come and claim their things from Grandma.

The house still teems with life, and my brother is in and out and the interim pastor is living there for now. It makes the transition from my mom living there to what is next easier!

There was a hint of fall in the air this morning. Our porch, a summer spot, where I do my morning Bible reading, will soon be shut up for the winter.

There is a healing feeling about that space, screened in from mosquitoes. I spent the summer there, in the fresh air, but protected space. It was a sweet spot to grieve and contemplate losses of the season.

We need spaces to grieve.

I like to read promises and declarations from the Bible out loud at times. There is a privacy in the porch, despite being “outside.”

I will truly miss it this winter, and look forward to next spring.

Fall is such a beautiful season, yet there is much to get done, this year in particular.

Ed’s Japanese garden progresses some. I like the pond very much. This morning I greeted a small frog, who quickly swam to the bottom.

Water is simply an attraction.

There was a banner crop of acorns this year. The squirrels will certainly survive. They are probably fat from all their snacking right now. You cannot drive into the driveway without the fanfare of crushing acorns under the wheels. No one can sneak in!

They also ricochet off the roof, and it sounds like gunshot. Kind of stressful. Cheri is researching things to do with acorns, like dyeing, or grinding into flour.

Hum-drum goings-on, but the days are filled with sunshine and healing.

I hope the new neighbor likes peace and quiet. I hope he or she is a handy person. (I am not!) I hope that we have a great neighborly friendship.

My son-in-law’s daughter gave birth a month ago, so now I am a step-great-grandma! Pray with me for that little one.

God is always good, and I really think Jesus is coming back to get us in the air soon.

MARANATHA!!!

These golden days of late summer just continue to drip like pearls.

Ed filled the new fish pond with water from the well last evening. It’s pretty deep, and I hope it won’t be a problem. I’m praying over it, that it is a source of joy.

I took Yukichan on a walk down the road to the south. Looking back, our fat Topi cat was plodding along behind. Yuki and I walked only a bit further and then had to turn around. Topi walks in the middle of the road!

Picked him up and took him behind the house. There we met Alex, Ed’s cat. Yuki and I tried to escape to the north, to head up the (gravel) road that way.

Alex is extremely vocal, and he was yowling at us as we skitted away. We thought we would out pace him. Not even a few tenths of a mile we looked back, and you guessed it: Alex was following us IN THE ROAD!

Turned around and headed toward the newly mowed hay field. Alex followed, yowling. Little Rosie Runabout, our tiny sprite of a white kitty, showed up in the hay field, a little spot of purity in the green surroundings. She loves to run fast and leap up on things.

I let Yuki off the leash to run around the big cylindrical hay bales, scattered around the field. She finds all sorts of interesting things to smell in the newly shorn grasses. It was very hard to lure her back to the house.

I headed in the door, and all three cats converged. Yuki was promised a treat as a lure. All pets are now inside, but I do not blame them for wanting to be soaking up this summer beauty, sweet air, sunshine, and freshly cut hay.

Alex and Rosie hunt every morning and there is always something on the sidewalk for us to admire. Cats really do feed on recognition. If you acknowledge their prey (mice, moles, shrews, gophers, and chipmunks) they tend to stop meowing about it and go off to find another. Such interesting creatures.

I have a few more things to get ready at Corgi Hollows North, for the interim pastor and his wife. I need to bring over a microwave and a couple of kitchen items.

While working at the hotel I noticed what appointed the kitchenettes in our king-suites. The cupboards and drawers were mostly bare, but the basic necessities were there. You really don’t need much to furnish a short-term kitchen!

It’s nice to have a microwave, though, even if there is a stove and finicky oven in this little “mother-in-law” apartment.

It’s fun to set up a little place for comfort.

Remember the woman who built a “prophet’s chamber” for Elisha? That always fascinated my mom, and I like to think I have one in my home, too.

I have always wanted to have a room for guests.

I gave Ed the option of having the guest room for an office as he moves back “home.” He said no—he wants us to have that space for our friends and family to stay whenever they can.

That warms my heart. We will find the space we need for Cheri, Ed, and me to live and work, and have a prophet chamber!

This is place of quiet and industry. That isn’t a conundrum. We get a lot done here in the midst of all this beauty.