Month: May 2025

The school year is wrapping up, and the sweet summer is stretching out before me. I am so busy these days with being a substitute teacher that I can barely get my thoughts straight. I need to do so many things at home, chores, jobs, MOWING, and 1,000 other things—but all must wait until I have a bit of time.

Today I have my monthly physical therapy appointment, for my back. I leave in 20 minutes. I have been going to see this therapist for 20 years now, and she is amazing. She keeps me moving, helps me manage my chronic pain from my two spine injuries. I am so thankful for her!

I just have this pressing thought on my mind, and have 20 minutes, and wanted to write it down here: WORLDVIEW MATTERS!

As we see the events of the world scene unfold and we pick sides on political issues I am discouraged. Then I remember that my worldview dictates my own ideas and stances, and, of course this is a universal truth.

We are unmoved.

It is only by spiritual power that a heart can influence a mind in a way that pleases the Creator.

I pray for spiritual eyes to be opened, mine especially.

God has moved my hard heart many, many times.

I am not who I was.

Yet my heart still belongs to Christ, and I exist to worship and serve Him alone. I am always fascinated by prayer—-what it is, even. I pray. I pray in my stilted human ability, and I trust God in my worm-like understanding.

The Apostle Paul felt like that, too, I think.

We can only follow the teachings of Scripture, the patterns it prescribes for us, the truth that it imparts, especially to our heart.

Then eyes are opened, understanding follows, and we are gifted a worldview.

Love one another.

I am trying my best to practice that command. I am trying to live my worldview and be loving.

My prayers are my expression of love.

You are in my prayers.

MARANATHA!

What a privilege to be able to attend my 40th college class reunion this past weekend, in Wheaton, by Chicago!

I had the best friends at Wheaton; my roommate, the girls across the hall from us, and a few others that I connected with that year I was there.

Even though I was there only one year those friendships are solid. We picked up right where we left off!

Brian graduated from Wheaton, and he was remembered by several. For me, to chat with some of those who remembered him, it was sort of a tying of loose ends, perhaps another grief journey, a resolving, a good-bye.

Ed went with me, and I was so happy to have him hear fun stories, remembrances of his dad, and be my escort. I am so blessed!

Today I am subbing art at both the elementary school and the high school this afternoon, and I’m able to write during free moments. I wanted to jot down my impressions and gratitude for such a reunion weekend as was.

I don’t usually blog at school. I need the peace of Corgi Hollows, but today I just had to record my thoughts before they got stale.

It was a gorgeous drive across Wisconsin down to Wheaton—budding leaves and blossoms, blue sky, perfect conditions! It was in the 80’s and 90’s for the this Mother’s Day weekend.

(I was wished a happy mother’s day by all of my children and their spouses, which I believe is just a precious gift from God! How blessed I am!)

The singing at the reunion was a highlight, “May the Mind of Christ My Savior” was sung several times, and I always love that hymn, especially sung by excellent voices, multiples of voices, and voices that know it well. Wow.

The students’ concert presentation on Friday evening was wonderful: Girls chorus, Men’s Glee, Concert Choir, Organ, Orchestra, and Band. Delightful! My roommate’s son had a saxophone solo part that was positively gorgeous!

The fellowship and conversation with these old friends was just amazing! I just love these women! We are spread out across the country, but we share parenting experience—joys and woes, career/life experience, and spiritual connection, which is really what binds us.

We all promised to stay in closer touch from now on, since our families are on the cusp of change, with parents aging or already gone, kids in college or married, and our jobs wrapping up and retirement looming. I look forward to our future fellowship, if not here on earth, certainly in eternity.

We are bonded.

It was sweet to hear chat about Brian, too. I was able to talk with a couple of his former roommates.

My main thought, recurring, was, of course—“Brian would love to hear this!”

That is poignant.

Tears were close to the surface.

Ed and I visited the JRR Tolkien desk, the Wardrobe of Narnia lore, and C.S. Lewis’ items at the Wade center. I recommend a visit there if you can, if you are a fan of Lord of the Rings, the Hobbit, or any of Lewis’ works. It is well done.

We also saw an exhibit about Elisabeth Elliot at the Billy Graham Center. Excellent.

Walking around campus, visiting Perry Mastodon in the new science building, touring the new music center, and all the new student center facilities was fun. Being able to see Edman Chapel and hear the pipe organ on which I learned to play so many years ago was a privilege.

I am glad I went to my reunion. When you are in your sixties you should try to go. I think my mother-in-law once said something to me about reunions in your sixties and how fun they were. She was right. They are. All of our joys and sorrows have mellowed us, humbled us, bonded us, and helped us to see the value in each. Maturity, perhaps, but also experience can make us easier on each other.

I’m grateful.

MARANATHA!

I am praying for several people to make a decision to follow Christ. I have prayed for decades for some of these dear people. I am also praying for movers and shakers, influencers and “stars.”

My heart is moved to pray today that the Holy Ghost will open spiritual eyes today…soon…because time is short, and these people could have such wonderful impact on so many millions of lost souls.

Pray with me today that they accept Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord!

God knows this list. I talk to Him about it everyday. Just pray to Him to answer Corgi’s prayer!

YOU NEED JESUS, DEAR ONE!

I’m reading in Isaiah right now. It’s 66 chapters, so reading 5/day still lets me spend significant time this month in this incredible book.

Today the Lord has been saying the word “heart” to me—in my reading, in my prayers, in my calendar and lists—all the things that I keep myself together with.

My friend’s dad passed away on Monday. I wanted to be at the funeral, and had even planned a trip this week to say good-bye to him while he was in hospice. My heart grieves for my friend, who was such a support to me when I lost Brian, my brother, my dad, and my world fell apart.

My heart aches.

My heart aches for the grief in this world, which mine is a part of. A small part, but so, so heavy for me.

Sometimes grief can be so intense that my heart throbs and I feel panic.

When the sun is shining and the flowers are glowing in springtime glory my heart can almost burst. Grief can be even more intense.

Today I must battle the intensity.

I think that the “stages of grief” so helpful to know and acknowledge through a process of loss are really true. I have experienced ALL OF THEM in the five years since my trauma.

The one that helps me cope the most might be anger.

I never thought of myself as an angry person. Since my trauma I experience that emotion in a way entirely new to me.

I confess that I believe anger is one of the seven deadly sins, and righteous anger is hard to define. I heard once that only God can handle anger, therefore we must all quickly dissipate this emotion when felt, in a Godly way.

I went to a seminar on anger resolution and one of the tricks is to BLESS the source of anger.

Can I bless my grief?

When Brian died I confess that I was mad at him for dying. Crazy, right? It wasn’t his fault. His precious heart just failed.

Still, I was mad that he just left me.

This thought has come back many times in these past five years. I have a moment of anger and I think about what I need to do—-

My heart trembles.

I turn to God.

He knows my heart.

Life is really brief in light of eternity. We all live forever in heaven or hell. Can I hold out during this life?

This is a deep heart matter.

It is in these moments of intensity that God shows up for me most often. Today He reminded me that He cares for my heart.

He cares for you. He is coming soon. He is coming soon.

MARANATHA

I will be traveling to a college reunion this weekend. Ed is accompanying me, as he accompanied Brian at least 20 years ago to one of these events. I didn’t go last time, busy with school-age kids and other things (except Ed). Also, although I attended this college my freshman year, Brian graduated from there with his first degree, in literature. (His second degree in Electric Engineering, was from Dordt College.)

My brothers and their wives, nieces, nephew, cousins and other close family and friends also attended this college.

I still have friends from that special year. I hope some of them show up. For me, going to this reunion is more about closure. I doubt that I will ever attend another event for this college, but I need to “wrap up things.” It was such a big part of our lives for years.

I will continue to keep in touch with my roommate, my friend that lived across the hall in the dorm, and Renee, my friend for life, who also was my bridesmaid. These friendships are important to me, even if I do not have a lot of contact anymore.

Renee and I are travel partners, so we get to see each other more. I am so thankful for her.

It will be interesting. This college, from all reports, has become “woke,” my definition: drifting.

Those of us who are old-fashioned Bible thumpers, (I confess, relate, and wear it openly) aren’t welcome anymore. (So I will keep my mouth shut.)

I cannot abandon my belief in the power of prayer, the theology that does not replace Israel, the inerrancy of Scripture, the inspiration of Scripture, and the reality of God’s definition of sin. I also anticipate the pre-millennial Rapture of the church, the fulfillment of the Judaic feasts, and of prophecy yet unrealized, the coming time of “Jacob’s Trouble,” or as some label it, the Great Tribulation and the Beast Kingdom.

I believe wholeheartedly in the Holy Spirit and His help in understanding the Word of God.

To me, this belief is hope-filled, powerful, sustaining, and world-changing. I see a living church that holds to this worldview. I see life, but it’s getting rarer. I think there are places on other continents that are thriving spiritually because of this worldview.

Clarifying my own beliefs helps me to stand firm in light of morphing theology and drifting morals.

I see too many institutions and churches drifting away from Scripture. I see people I know and love who hate God now. They stand opposing the values He gave us. I see apathetic coolness towards God, weariness, wishy-washyiness, and general carnality trending. I see people who are uber-judgmental toward anything “conservative” or pertaining to a straight and narrow path, a strait gate. The hatred is real.

The proof of the pudding is in the eating, for them and for me, and I must simply love these dear ones. I can only trust that the Holy Spirit will open their spiritual eyes to truth. I am weary of the battle, so I will trust God to work in their hearts. I can pray, and that is powerful.

Grief, though. I still grieve.

As the “church” drifts away I can watch it go, continue to pray, and mind my own business as Micah did.

There are still many of us who are true brothers and sisters in Christ, watching and waiting patiently for the Glorious Appearing of our Lord. These are MY PEOPLE, the people of His pasture!

It is such a joy to find them through conversations, prophecy events, and other random encounters!

I praise God that my dear friend, Mary Kaye, and I share the same faith and worldview. One needs a staunch friend who will bolster you up when the going gets rough!

We all need to have our “tribe” of people who see the world the same way.

We can, and must love all people, including our enemies.

Being gracious to those who hurt you is a tough calling, but Jesus asks us to do it.

It is possible.

I subbed only one day this week, and it was pretty rough. I had to confess my sinful thoughts on the way home from school. One of the other teachers confessed that they had “given up” on this class, the behaviors are abysmal. These are young children!

My thoughts that needed to be confessed were a wish for an old-fashioned paddle, like the one that hung on the wall in the principal’s office at my elementary school.

Proverbs says, “Spare the rod, spoil the child.”

If ONLY some parents would NOT SPARE THE ROD. Discipline and respect are not taught in the home, and the schools are bound with powerless consequences to enforce anything that is of value.

It’s a losing game.

I’ve decided that being a sub is sort of being a missionary. I give my days (and of course I’m paid) to be a bit of light and comfort to the kids that need it. My heart is warmed at the sweet greetings I get as I walk the halls of troubled faces.

Kids often choose to tell me things that they do not tell teachers. Not sure why this is, but they see me as a safe person, an open countenance, non-judging, simply loving. I am sometimes a bit of a pushover with discipline, but I do have my methods for surviving a day. There are those days, though, that really sting. Some are still biting me.

I try to turn unpleasant encounters into teaching moments. Teachers can bully kids, but kids more often bully teachers. It’s true. You may think a first grader isn’t capable of doing that. The other day I was given two different slips of paper with obscene language directed at me (?) by a couple of first graders.

I didn’t bat an eye, and said nothing. I just took them. I said a silent prayer for the child and the family he came from.

What else can I do?

PRAY. I can pray about society. I can pray about wokeness. I can pray about the drifting church and the issues that make me grieve.

I can pray.

God answers prayer, but at this point I’m watching for His Glorious Appearing. My hope in the world has vanished.

MARANATHA!