It’s been longer than usual for me to neglect my blog. I’ve had some things to clarify and clean up in my personal life. When people pass away there is a natural inventory that occurs. Life matters take on deeper implications.
It’s natural.
Sometimes I wonder why I am still around, but I see my purpose in this season, and I know God watches out for all of us. I’m part of the service plan right now, and I’m accepting on this. I’m learning.
My dad gets weaker gradually. It seems to be a long process. For someone who has always been so capable it frustrates. He struggles with his decline.
We all do.
Yesterday Ed, Cherie, and I went to the state fair. It was a perfect day at the fair—temps and activities! I love Ecuadorean music and we got to hear a wonderful concert coincidentally —-we were at the right place at the right moment.
There is something so ambient about a perfect outdoor temperature, blue sky, great music and a sweet atmosphere all around. That was yesterday.
So many memories of past perfect moments came to mind. Nostalgia. Sweetness.
I decided to keep this semester free to tie up loose ends. I need to work on a few long-term projects at home, spend nights watching my dad, and figuring out my next steps. I have problems to deal with and people to take care of. I have enough.
Honestly, my faith has suffered. I’d be lying to say otherwise. Jesus is still my everything, but I do question “why?” and ask God for His explanation. I haven’t received it yet, so I’ll let you know when it comes.
I think I understand people better. I understand the loss of faith some have. I couldn’t have done that before my past three years.
It’s coming up on three years since my brother’s death.
This summer has been achingly beautiful.
Perhaps it’s drought in areas, repercussions of the pandemic affect us all. I see the heinous invasive weeds in our low lying areas and I know that is a metaphor for many things in life. There are some difficult issues to deal with.
We all have issues. Genetic entropy is a thing.
Dysfunction is prevalent.
Life is unfair, hard, and full of pitfalls.
We must walk circumspectly.
The Holy Spirit has given me a thought for this time of transition. “God sees.”
Sarah and Hagar, a difficult circumstance, and God looked out for Hagar. God saw her.
God sees.
He sees me. He hasn’t forgotten.
I may be in a spiritual drought, but I know He cares.
The rains of spiritual refreshment will come again.
We’ll laugh and smile again someday.
Meanwhile, I’m tying up these loose ends.
Come, Lord Jesus. Come soon.
Maranatha!