God is really taking good care of me. I testify to His provision and His goodness.

I still want to make some suggestions of how to bless a widow you may know of. There are those moments when “normal stuff” can be daunting to a widow with waning physical strength.

Recently Cherie and I needed to change an iron water filter in our system. It needs to be done every four months or so. We puzzled and strained over it before we (she) got it unscrewed and replaced. Victory!

Sometimes there’s a piece of something missing somewhere and it just needs a handyman’s touch.

Usually our needs have to do with plumbing, but I’ve had a guy from church check my tires. I often fear things that could go wrong with one of our vehicles. I try to keep them up and take them to the car care people regularly. Still, stuff happens…

If I lived in a community where all the maintenance was provided I’d probably be better off, but I am loath to leave my home and my family here.

Think about ways you can bless a widow in your acquaintance. I’m sure you know one. She will probably not be quick to ask for help. No one wants to be a pest. She probably has something a handy person could help with.

Speaking from experience.

BTW I am blessed by my five wonderful children, and their willingness to show up when I am desperate. I just share the thoughts of vulnerability that crop up in my thinking at times, and I know my widowed sisterhood shares these concerns.

It’s Christmas. Think of blessing her.

It was about a month ago when I woke up feeling sort of sad and needing a hug. I said to God, “You know, we humans need a hug every once in awhile.”

Ed had mentioned to me awhile back that “studies show humans need 13 hugs a day for optimal mental health.”

Well, that ain’t happening with Miss Corgi.

ANYWAY

God has a keen sense of humor.

Recently I picked up one of my Bible Study friends for supper. She is a researcher at the University.

She got into the truck with a big fat bag.

“I have something for you. It’s been hanging in my closet for two years. It’s from China. I will never wear it. I feel like a polar bear when I put it on.”

A beautiful furry coat was gifted to me. I tried to dissuade her from giving me such a beautiful garment. I said we’d shop for the right outfit for her to wear it with…That she should show courage to be a polar bear….

I have the coat. I have worn it since!

I look like a polar bear and EVERYONE wants to hug me!!!

The ladies at the dentist office yesterday just sang out, “Can I hug you?!”

“Yes! Of course!” Ha ha ha ha !!!!

So far only a few strangers have asked to hug me.

Mostly it’s people I do know.

My friend is missing out. God is laughing.

Give me a hug!

As I’ve written, the holidays are somewhat “off” this year with the house repair project. Since Christmas is sort of an emotional season, (candles, memories, sweets, scents, tastes, music, lights, gifts!) we are all affected by the circumstances around us more deeply.

Add grief and conflict to the mix and you have emotional gunpowder.

So the challenge—is to find peace and contentment in the middle of this storm of emotion.

In the middle of a worship song last Sunday the Lord gave me an image. It came right out of the blue, but it was so obviously a sweet thought from Him.

A bird. It had just hit the window and was still stunned. It was cupped in my hand. I was filled with compassion for it, hopeful for its recovery, hoping it wasn’t injured beyond healing.

And then I felt that I was that bird, held cupped in the Lord’s hands.

Of course He knows the end of the story. I do too, sort of. He wins. I belong to Him, so I win too.

But this is a moment of recovery and peace, sheltered in His care. Still stunned. Safe.

This Christmas will have that feel—-still stunned, but safe.

The four years that have just passed for me are like slamming against a glass window pane, falling helplessly to the stony ground below, checking my wings for escape.

The Lord heard my thump and came and lifted me safely. His compassion and even love for me came through.

Don’t you feel that tug at your heart when you see that poor little bird? How much more does God see us lovingly?

Perhaps it is still hard to believe that God really loves and cares for us, but His Word affirms that. I struggle with feeling loved.

The image of the bird in hand gave me a sense of warmth and reassurance. If I can care for a tiny creature, God can care for me, too.

Life is hard. Trouble is a given. Death and loss, conflict and pain are all a part of this existence. I’ve felt it all deeply, struggled to see it in a correct light of discipline, punishment and circumstance.

It’s ongoing. When I’ve figured it out I will let you know. (As if I could!)

But today I see God’s sweetness.

Gandalf and Topi have some health concerns. Topi has a respiratory thing, Gandalf a cyst that is irritated. We are praying for recovery, and a visit to the vet is happening today. Predicate continues to age. She is a wisp of her former self, yet still active and feisty. We think she is about 17 years old now (human years :)).

The pups are fine, thankfully.

Mild weather continues this week after an icy weekend. Someone was hired at the hotel so I need not work every weekend after this month. Working everyday except Sunday is the lot of many humans, but it does have its toll on life!

I’m old. I am not quite up to it. There’s laundry and chores that pile up at home when I work that much! Preparing for Christmas also takes so much time, so that isn’t happening much this year. Cherie is disappointed, but she is caught up in her university finals. That assuages.

There have been moments of fun, despite the busy schedule of teaching and “hoteliering.”

The trip last week, eating out with my mom and my niece, seeing my Bible Study people, lunching with our newlywed friends, coffee on Saturday with Ed, a brief celebration of Jim’s birthday—! Those three Christmas concerts I got to still ring in my mind. I pack my days early to late!

We fit in these moments, and I am thankful for the joy they bring. I’m thankful for friends and dear ones. How blessed I feel!

Margaret delivered a plate of beautiful cookies. Christmas time treats. Your beautiful cards are arriving daily. I am so blessed. Will I have time to address my own cards to you? That is a question.

I see your cards as gifts. News of you. Thank you.

Looking for Jesus!

MARANATHA

Actually it’s only around zero, but it makes the house creak and the fire feels good. These dark mornings can only be endured through a sense of cozy.

This was a good week of family and adventure.

I visited family in Iowa, drove north to see the Runestone Park in Kensington, and spent a day of quiet at home. The Silverado performed wonderfully, and I am so grateful for my truck. The snow crystals played on the pavement as I drove up U.S. Highway 71 for half the state of Minnesota.

One of my emails is ushwy71@gmail.com. Perhaps that is odd, but I have a deep connection to that highway. I’ve traveled it completely, north to south, in this country. I’ve lived along it, by it, been connected to it my whole life.

My great grandparents settled in a town on Highway 71, Windom, MN. My dad bought land up north near it for a cabin.

I lived down in Louisiana close to this highway.

My husband’s family lives in a town on Highway 71.

It seems like I’m tied to it for life.

Even though the Kensington Runestone is closer to Alexandria, MN than Sauk Center (on Highway 71) it’s relatively close to it.

I was on a research trip to see the place where the Runestone was found. I’ve been to the museum in Alexandria, but I’d not been able to get to the actual farmstead where the stone was found before this week.

Since I’ve been illustrating a storybook about the stone I thought I should see the lay of the land where it was unearthed.

The bitter cold kept me from hiking around the park, but I took a few photos and peered in the windows of the beautiful structure that’s been built there. Clearly there are many other people that take exceptional interest in this fascinating piece of history.

I left the park with determination to revisit on a warmer day.

I’m still glad I went.

The nature of traveling in bitter cold does things to your mind. As I ventured further northwards I had thoughts of turning back—even as I came with miles of my goal! Granted, I was by myself in unknown territory, something I rarely am.

I felt super adventurous.

Anyway, I high-tailed it home on Interstate 94, blasted through St. Cloud with thoughts of my regrets about my Master’s Degree—which I almost completed at St. Cloud State two years ago.

Back home to a warm fire, cozy cats and two pups who were happy to snuggle.

Blessings.

Cherie had her last day of class this week for the semester. Finals next week.

The house feels a bit like Christmas with a tree of apples and oranges, nuts and gingerbread. No tree this year. The basement trumped that.

We will still celebrate, fellowship with friends and family, and contemplate the Dear Savior’s Birth.

On Sunday I went to two musical events: The Singers, and a Messiah Sing-a-Long. What a lovely time of year to soak in the beautiful Christmas music!

As I drove north on Highway 71 I was again touched by the beauty of the land; rich fields, hollows and hills, remarkable spots like petroglyphs and parks, Rivers and valleys, picture perfect farms, vistas that stretch for miles. What a beautiful place!

The skies were perfect, too, with wispy gray clouds, light blue above, sunny rays. The moon appeared too.

Friendly folk who raised a hand from the steering wheel to greet me as we met —-

This is Minnesota, after all.

I’m off to school—to teach art for the day.

The scenes of my adventure will play in my mind. Blessings.

MARANATHA!

I had such a great day yesterday. My dear friends visited, I got back to swimming after a hiatus.

Did some Christmas shopping.

The sky was gorgeous despite blustery winds and cold temperatures. A gray cloud of wisp parted to reveal light blue skies, a sliver of moon and a bright planet! All near a sun-brightened cloud of late afternoon. Maybe you saw that beauty too.

I’m feeling so much better.

These nagging colds are almost over (I think) and my pain is lessening with purposeful remedies. Thankful.

Today I was back in school, teaching agriculture to the middle school kids. All good. Tomorrow it will be third grade.

There have been some truly disheartening circumstances lately with teaching, some students that have behavior issues that spilled over into my own sphere. I must continually place it in God’s hands. It is a puzzle that I haven’t solved yet.

It makes me grateful for all the years that no one seemed to notice me at all, not care, nor pay attention to anything about me. Having bad attention isn’t easy. I’m not used to it. I prefer the quiet of my fortress.

I like quietly just doing the right thing. That’s my style. I never expected accusations nor falsehoods to affect me. Teachers must be ready to face everything, though. Kids can be unbelievably cruel.

It is always a puzzle to me that students behave when there is no real power to enforce that behavior. Punishment is slow and respect is only shown by about half of the students. Kids have power that they’ve never had in ages past. They can easily ruin someone’s life. Believe me.

There are issues in public education. I know.

Today I told the classes that there would be a “good” list. If a student followed directions the entire period their name would go on the good list. Less than half of each class got their names on the list. That is sad.

The teacher can deal with the fallout tomorrow.

So is my life as a substitute. These days practically anyone can be a substitute teacher. I wonder how many can truly handle all the hard stuff, though.

I do get a kick out of sharing knowledge. I always learn something new each time I sub.

That’s my payback.

Of course I ‘m happy to be paying the bills, too.

I’m grateful. I still need prayer, but I am grateful.

God is good.

Jesus is coming soon!

MARANATHA!!!

Ed has been helping me out with my technical issues and today we seem to be back in business. I’m getting used to my new Chromebook. My old one couldn’t even be updated for the past three years, and it was getting ridiculous. Some things weren’t working at all anymore, some things required $ to fix. It was looking pretty grim for my dear old device.

He found a cheap new one for me. It’s more than adequate. I’m thankful.

Our basement, which is old, and very wet, has been a source of garbage too. All the wood in the basement had rotted, and now it is all being replaced with tile and metal reinforcements.

The waterproofing people had delivered a dumpster and we worked to get all the moldy old stuff into it late one night.

More issues were found with the house, so the professionals will be back next spring to continue their work. After that I hope to get a tile floor (problem free!) laid and finish whatever walls I can to make a space (dry!) for Ed to work his new job from home.

This whole project will have taken almost a year and a half to complete. We will see. New septic plumbing from house to tanks, (major digging outside!–and inside) new bathroom downstairs, new drain in the basement floor, new water softening system, waterproofing. Finishing work. All this from water.

Mold and mildew banishment. Sump pump installed. Foundation reinforcement.

It has been epic.

But the garbage must be thrown out. We need to live in a safe place. Old places need updating!

Even on the days when I am most discouraged I can look out at the beautiful fields around me, here on the old family farm, and praise God. I am so blessed to have such beauty surrounding me.

I am blessed to have my mom nearby, Cherie here (and happy at the University, too!), Ed close enough to work here at Corgi Hollows on occasion.

My house guests have been extremely tolerant this past year of upheaval. Everything from that downstairs library was moved upstairs. We have navigated our lives around thousands of books.

As a teacher, who studied children’s literature in college, I have had the blessing of collecting old classic books for children, over the decades of teaching, at used book sales or even sometimes online to complete a collection. I’m probably going to sell the most valuable ones sometime soon.

I love to give classic books to kids at the school where I substitute. I have found them for less than a dollar at thrift stores and I just wish kids would read them instead of vampire lit or the current popular garbage turned out for school libraries. The fiction almost always deals with dark themes.

Downtime at school, when kids say they have finished all their work but the class time is still designated for a specific assignment, can be an issue for a difficult student. I love having a book to GIVE in my bag. They will often say “I don’t have a book.” So Mrs. G snatches one out of the air—“This is the BEST book! You’ll love it! It’s about…”

It’s so rewarding when a student finds me later and tells me how much they loved the book!

Garbage out, good stuff in.

Life has been hard lately, but I’ve seen some incredible blessings. My married daughter has a new family member. It’s a story, (not mine) and it’s wonderful, and we can be excited about it.

Reconciliation continues in key relationships in my life. It’s a process. God is working things out for good.

That does not dismiss the pain and the loss. Not everything has been “fixed,” and some things never will be able to be fixed. They are past. Reconciling with what has been lost forever is a daunting undertaking. This can spark my deep sadness and bouts with depression.

But God.

I see His provision, His direction, His hope. I see His love and His care. I see His husbandry in my widowed state. He does care.

There are days when I still feel punished by God, and I cry out for mercy. Arguments against this perception are moot. I feel it.

We all know emotions are untrustworthy. They simply exist, though. God made them in us. The Bible infers that God has them too. Not arguing that point here, but it is interesting.

There are days I feel punished.

As a believer I am required to go to the Holy Spirit and confess my sin–daily–and ask God to create in me a pure heart. Jesus took the punishment for my sin. Yet there is still garbage in my life.

Accusations, mistakes, meanness, poor decisions, annoyances, irritations, being taken advantage of, loss—all of these are part of my daily life. Some days just feel like punishment.

Those are the days I want to “fortress” the most. RETREAT!!!!

But I have hope in a day coming, the Harpazo, (Greek) and know that this hard and lonely life will be over here for me. The punishment ends.

I worked at the hotel last night (on Thanksgiving) and I observed grateful people and punished people. I work again tonight, and will observe the same…

The decision to be grateful lies within myself. I can choose to be grateful to God for EVERYTHING, including the punishments.

It’s garbage day today. What mental garbage can I pitch? The devil’s false accusations, for starters. That’s always a great place to begin.

Looking for Jesus.

And a belated Happy Thanksgiving to all my dear readers! May this onset of ADVENT be a blessing to you this 2024, and may we welcome 2025 with happy hearts.

If the rapture doesn’t happen I should be back writing through this special season.

MARANATHA!

We’re still here, waiting for Jesus, but full of hope and awe at the stunning events of the past week. I’m getting used to some new tech, as my old stuff wore out, and this will take some time. I grieve the past, but I know I must embrace the new.

I’ve never been afraid to be politically minded, but I’ve taken a low profile with my politics the last few years. It’s never fun to invite controversy, and my life is full of it already. I know where I stand in principle, in worldview, in acknowledging which issues are watershed issues, and in being informed about political platforms.

I can discuss (calm) but not argue (anger).

I am pro-life almost to a fault.

I wrote a short novel back in 1985 about a woman who was raped and decided to have the child which was the result of that crime.

Francine Rivers also wrote that story, “Atonement Child,” and did a much better job than I. Read it if you can.

We will now watch the unfolding events of the Beast System, which must come to pass, and Israel (always keep your eye on Israel!) and other End Time developments.

But we didn’t glorify Baal in this election, and God was glorified. God hates the taking of innocent life. Although it is still legal to do so in the USA, it is no longer promoted by the ruling political party. The platform is decidedly pro-life.

This is the watershed issue.

There is a spot in Minnesota where a raindrop falls; it could end up in the Mississippi River Basin, the Rainy Lake Basin, or the St. Lawrence Basin. It could go to the Gulf of Mexico, Hudson Bay, or the Atlantic Ocean. This watershed geographical feature is close to Hibbing, MN.

Think about the divergence here.

Those who choose life will end up in a God-glorifying “ocean.” Those who choose death will be a servant of Baal.

Choose life. Choose whom you will serve.

America tried to get back on the life track this week. We are in a time of judgment, spiritually, with the direction our country is going overall. God is still in control, though Satan is still the Prince and Power of the Air.

Interesting study.

Spiritual battleground. Choose the side that has eternal hope.

I was transported on a time machine last Wednesday. This 61 year old became 91.

Well, sort of felt like it.

I couldn’t move my right leg after getting out of the swimming pool and going for an errand at Costco. I got myself into the house and the rest of the day I avoided excruciating pain by lying still. I had to use Ed’s old walker to get around.

God had this incident in His hands, though. I already had an appointment with my physical therapist for Thursday morning, so my dear Ed came out to fetch me and take me to Shoreview for this.

My therapist, who has known me for 20 years now, surmised that it was tendon/ligament/muscle—like a sprain, and needed 72 hours to rest and heal with heat.

BINGO!

Now it is Monday, and after several pain filled days I am moving around without the walker.

What a scary experience.

I was crying out to God, asking for prayer from my social media friends, my Bible study—everyone. Excruciating pain does that to you, also a major life change.

Thoughts cross your mind: is this forever? why did this happen? what did I do?

I remember our dog Misty (our corgi pictured above, who passed away several years ago) had Lyme Disease, and I could see all sorts of similarities in my own situation. Joint issues, unable to move…

Gandalf came in with a tick on Friday which made me think. This is October in Minnesota. Yes, there are ticks. Just not as many. We always get ticks here at Corgi Hollows in the spring. It’s a yucky expectation.

Anyway….I had hoped to winterize my Kaffe Stuga (the porch) over Minnesota Educators Association weekend (I had 3 days off from subbing last week) but THAT didn’t happen. Thankful for the continued warm temps, though I know it’s weird for our climate.

I’ve been really busy with subbing and getting back to the hotel this fall. Lord willing I will continue to heal and regain mobility as the week progresses. Thank you for your prayers!!!

I will see a doctor soon. I got an appointment for a Lyme blood test.

I look out my windows at this autumn glory and my heart still sings amidst the pain. It’s beautiful here.

Friends have been generous and thoughtful. I AM BLESSED.

GOD IS GOOD. HE IS ALWAYS GOOD.

Transporting back to 61…………………….

MARANATHA!

There are so many things that I think I know better than God. Things I wish were true, but aren’t.

But if they were true I would be God. Or, at least I would have created a god in my own image.

I wish it were true that everyone went to heaven.

I wish it were true that there wasn’t a hell.

I wish it were true that people just could love each other, accept each other, be kind to each other.

I wish there were no war.

I wish there was peace.

I wish that no one would get sick. I wish that no one would be weak. I wish that there would be no unwanted humans in the world, no racism, no abortion, no selfishness, no stealing, no bad words, no pain, no…..

What an amazing god I’d be. I’d want a bunch of robots who adored me all the time.

BUT THAT IS NOT THE TRUTH.

The truth is that there is sin and sadness, sickness, death, hatred, pride, and pain. The truth is that abortion is allowed in Minnesota up until birth of a baby. I have heard of cases where a baby is killed after birth. I’ve heard. Just saying.

Does Minnesota law have a ‘viability’ threshold limiting abortion? Well, that depends

https://www.mccl.org/post/minnesota-legislature-repeals-protection-for-born-alive-infants-support-for-pregnant-women

Look it up. The law passed a couple of years ago. Walz signed it.

I wish it were not true, but it is.

When that law passed I thought of how God was going to punish this wickedness for this beautiful state.

He sees. He knows. It’s His creation, and he is just. He will judge.

The late Francis Schaeffer wisely called abortion a “watershed issue.”

If you value life you will be anti-abortion. If you value selfish pursuit you will be pro-abortion. (What is in the interest of the mother/child/father/family…)

God chooses to bring humans into this world, this beautiful world. Life is always a gift. Existence is a blessing.

Why did He hate the worship of Baal/Baphomet so much? It was because of the sacrifice of human life. WE are not animals. We are made in His image.

I believe that the first sacrifice of a lamb to cover Adam’s nakedness was a ritual of deep sorrow for God. Sacrifice is a horrible picture to illustrate the severity of sin.

God loves those animals, too.

Witchcraft sacrifices life. Abortion sacrifices life. War sacrifices life. Anywhere there is sacrifice of life it is the result of SIN.

God defines Himself. Our wishes are not the truth about God. He WILL judge.

God defines Himself as love. What kind of love?

An eternal love. A just love. An amazing love, merciful, gracious, kind, and wonderful.

Are you following God? Not the one in your imagination, but the God of creation, the God of the Holy Bible?

Yes, Christianity started in the garden of Eden with the presence of the LORD. The story is all there.

Read it. Believe.

Find the TRUTH.

Jesus said “I am the way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father but by me. “

Read it and get right with God, the One True God.

See you in eternity!

MARANATHA!

…doesn’t exist…in my opinion.

Today I drank coffee with Cheri facing the sunrise, outside by the kitchen garden on our little rocking bench that needed work this summer: the fabric failed, so Cheri found an old piece of lumber to place on it so we could still sit and rock occasionally.

Nothing is simple. Stuff breaks too often!

I’ve written over and over about how spoiled I was as a wife. Brian fixed anything and everything. He was a genius capable of that. No job was too difficult, but time was always a factor. Poor guy! Living here on this farm since his passing has revealed all of his “unseen” chores. I hope God is letting him know how appreciated he was!

Car care, wood pile maintenance, yard stuff, keeping the nuts and bolts of the house working seamlessly—(Not for the faint of heart, here in the country!) Snow removal —!

He took care of the bills, the finances, the nitty-gritty.

When the plumbing failed he figured it out.

He always saved us $$$ with house repair and new projects.

Husbands are wonderful. Appreciate yours, if God has allowed you to have one. Just being able to discuss things with a partner is such a blessing.

_____

But we drank our coffee facing the sun and the morning was lovely. It’s September. What more can I say? Minnesota September can be paradise.

Do they have a study on how people are affected by facing the sunrise versus the sunset in an apartment? I think seeing the sunrise is a must for the day.

Of course in the winter months I’m at school already, usually. It becomes a luxury then.

Tomorrow I am back in the saddle at school. Fifth grade math tomorrow. I had that weird sickness and I’m still taking my horse paste ivermectin to medicate and fight it. I think a week of sunshine, walks with the dogs, and rest was helpful.

I saw an interesting video about nanostructures last night. There is a study in Korea and Japan that was published/peer reviewed about how people with moderna and pfizer options may be experiencing some form of tiny structure formulating in their cells now. It’s worth looking at. A scientist from England was presenting the study on a video. Again, I say, worth looking into. (If you still can)

A friend has cancer. It has metastasized. I don’t know how long she has, what her thoughts are. I think she has put it in God’s hands.

I just found out this week and I’ve been grieving for her.

If a man die, shall he live again? all the days of my appointed time will I wait, till my change come. Job 14:14

Yes, God has appointed our days, our time here. Some may not be willing to accept that truth, and it may be a hard truth for those of us who have lost. It is a Biblical truth, however, and it can be weirdly comforting.

Nothing can “kill” you with out God’s permission. You will not live a day longer nor a day less without His appointment. Suicide may be a self-driven decision, but God in His infinite power did not stand aside powerless. God knows.

This is a fallen world with much suffering. I believe Jesus truly grieves at our pain. Cancer is, perhaps, one of the most blatant indications of a fallen creation.

Because of its increase and its persistence worldwide I think it indicates Christ is coming back soon. I know there are theories out there that curing cancer would be taking away a cash cow for the pharmaceutical companies, that there are multiple ways to cure cancer that God has given in modifying diet, herbs, lifestyle, etc.

I am a watcher.

But ultimately God is in control of our days, and those of us who know this can stand confidently each day that we are given, resting in the assurance of His sovereign will over all of creation. His plan still holds, even as we go about our daily stewardship of living life wherever He placed us on this earth.

So, today I will be a good steward and go to the YMCA at Ridgedale, swim for an hour, lift some weights, hit a racket ball, walk the dogs in the hay field.

I sat and got some vitamin D with Cheri, but if the sunshine holds today I should get a bit more.

Read “Five Loaves and Two Bowls of Borscht” by Janice Lemke.

One thing that I remember from that book is the Ukrainian women sunbathing practically religiously all summer. Storing up sunshine for winter….

That thought stayed with me.

One of our oncology nurses once mentioned that coffee is the USA’s number one antioxidant.

Drinking coffee in the sun is really a cancer fighter. We can rest in God’s wondrous healing hand, too. Each of our cells is His, the body is His temple.

His timing, His healing, His hand—when we have given our lives to Him.

Peaceful rest, stillness, awareness that His will WILL BE DONE. The simple life.

MARANATHA

Consider praying for LAY, a huge influencer in Asia. Listen to his lyrics, notice his symbolism. Such a pretty song—and truths, too. Just add his name to your prayers for salvation.