Month: December 2021

I have a new job and I’m thrilled about it. It’s truly my dream job, as a director of operations for a 501c3 international NGO. The organization is in hibernation right now due to Covid and political restrictions, but it’s ready to roar with a little push. I’m learning.

This dark month of our Minnesota year has been unusually difficult for me. The projects that are ongoing in the house have me unsettled. We’ve reached a forced hiatus due to some complications. Everything is torn up and at 6’s and 7’s. It does nothing for my spirit. I did pull down the Christmas decorations and attempted to dress up the place some.

Not a single leaf was able to raked this past fall. Snow fell on a thick carpet of oak leaves. The temperatures have dropped low, and the fireplace fans are broken. We’ve resorted to switching on the gas fireplace more than we should.

I’ve had a back ache for several weeks (not enough swim time) and I can’t help wonder if it is related to the scourge of our day, the dreaded variant virus.

These days I prefer to hibernate. My depression is real.

As the youngest child/social butterfly who has thousands of “friends” I’ve been sucked into a new atmosphere of quiet and limits. It’s not negative, but it has its hardships. I feel alone these days.

I know help is a phone call away, and many would run to me at my first cry for help.

It is interesting to see who has been revealed as my persistent and truly precious people . My loss has revealed my truest friends. There are those that I cling to and they reciprocate. I’m thankful, and blessed.

God is my husband. He is a wonderful husband. This isn’t weird, it is Biblical. He reminds me at just the right times to get certain things done, He takes care of everything, and protects me/us.

The loneliness of widowhood is real and heartbreaking, but God understands this. My faith has only been strengthened as I see His gentle forgiveness and mercy, His provision and kindness.

If something looks to be a problem I’m always prepared to see it turn into the blessing He intended. I’ve seen this too many times to become discouraged. Yes, I see problems. They are depressing. I’ve learned to wait and see God’s hand work things out His way.

If my desires are His, then He will fulfill them. That is a promise He made.

Life is hard. Don’t believe anything else. IF you have good things be extremely grateful. If God has given you a relationship you need to cherish it. If you have been given children, grandchildren, praise the Lord. God is so good.

Holidays are hard for those of us with loss. I’m not kidding. This isn’t some cliche. I can still thank God in the midst of my pain.

Thank you, friends, for your cards and gifts, your thoughts of us, your prayers. I’m still overwhelmed, even after a year and a half since Brian left us. I’m still adjusting.

Will I ever adjust?

At the moment I doubt it, but God is always good.

Come, Lord Jesus!

Maranatha!

Here we are in the throes of finals for the semester. I admit defeat this semester. I’ve had difficulty with concentration again, so I’m asking my University for another break, and they graciously granted help.

This university has been remarkably helpful with my situation. I am doing everything within the rules, within the limits, but, of course, my situation stretches credulity.

As I see people sicken and even pass around me I cannot help but wonder what is going on. Is everyone as vulnerable and at a loss as I’ve been these past three years? These past 7 years?

I’m not trying to feel sorry for myself. We’re all in this hard life together. Covid has brought unprecedented measures to the world. Loss is everywhere. I am not alone.

Certainly I’ve had some earth-shaking events, some I haven’t been candid about here on Corgi Hollows. I begin to question when this will all quiet down.

I picked up a plaque at the thrift store this fall. It says “When does the simple life begin?”

Ha ha.

I hung it on the wall in the living room. I believe the answer is NEVER.

It’s rhetorical.

I’m beginning a new venture. I have a new appointment/job with a non-profit organization.

I am learning Chinese, thanks to my Chinese “son” whom we hosted 15 years ago. The new job will put my Chinese to use.

Blogging will become a happenstance thing from here on out. Check in once in awhile. I’m excited about this new path, and I see the hand of the Almighty in directing me. God is always good.

I never know when I’m filled with a yearning to write, so I may write even more! Sometimes having a safe structure in which to abide can be conducive to creativity. Sometimes the wild and crazy uncertainty twinged with melancholy sparks the creative juices to flow. For me it has been both.

Cherie finishes her degree here soon. She completed the November novel writing challenge, nanowrimo, as well as her coursework. Good for her!

Ed is plugging away at the most difficult classes of his program. Two more weeks.

Pray for us, still, please. We still need it.

God has blessed us with caring friends, those that recharge our batteries and understand our deepest sadness. I am grateful.

My dad continues to recover from his stroke. He’s doing so well. He’ll be 95 here in a flash!

Miss Yukichan is a delight. She is still learning and irritating her siblings. She is just so much fun, though. All the pets are healthy.

We are healthy. Blessings.

God bless you.

MARANATHA!!!