Month: June 2022

One of the fun aspects of my Chinese language learning is watching Chinese “drama” to listen to the flow of conversation, learn vocabulary, and understand Asian culture. Of course the drama I see is heavily influenced by the puppet masters, with all their stag racks, 23’s, and subtle clues of dominance. They produce these shows, so they get their cut.

In each of these dramas there are conflicts, villains, and heroines. I prefer the softer plots. I hate suspense, so I tend to avoid any mysteries or thrillers. The relationship conflicts and their resolutions are enough suspense for me. Call me boring. I just have enough drama in my own life.

I do think I am learning things about repairing relationships, though. Each story has people with difficult personalities, falling out, and various degrees of conflict. I can relate to so many of the characters!

As a believer in Jesus Christ I recognize that His standards for relationships are my standards. I need to strive to love and serve everyone, keep a “short list” of offenses, forgive, and demonstrate Christ to everyone I meet.

What happens when you run into an irreconcilable situation?

In the land of Chinese drama fiction there is always a solution. In real life that doesn’t happen. One can forgive, but not always reconcile.

Reconciliation requires humility, forgiveness, willingness to compromise (on things that aren’t of faith) and lots of love. Prayer is a key component.

When there is no willingness to compromise there is no repair of relationship.

This is where a believer in Jesus sees the most conflict! Those of us who love the Lord, believe He has given us commands and standards to follow, shown us a way to live, and strive to obey Him will inevitably come to a place of NO COMPROMISE.

Those that cannot accept that will naturally move apart.

Faith is a divider.

We can hold our own standards, obey Christ, and demonstrate His love every minute of our lives, but we cannot compromise on sin.

When we sin we are bound to seek the Lord’s forgiveness, His Spirit’s power to overcome it, and to live each day with our eyes on His commands and the mandate to please Him and obey Him.

If a relationship requires a compromise on this there cannot be a reconciliation. Reconciliation requires understanding and acceptance. IF that isn’t there, there won’t be a reconciliation.

Sadly.

I have several people in my circle of relationships that have chosen a way of life that the Bible strictly forbids. Do you know how I deal with these relationships? I love these people. I love them.

I love them. I pray for them. I talk to them. I hug them. I listen to them. I am a friend to them.

I know that they understand my views, at least I believe they do, but I am there to help them and listen when they open up to me.

I am not making any compromise regarding that behavior in my own convictions. I recognize sin and I am determined to keep sin away in my own life. I am determined to confess my sin to my Lord, and strive anew each day in that battle.

When someone is under deep conviction and rejects me along with Biblical standards I am at a loss about how to repair that relationship. I can’t. Only the Holy Spirit can bring about a truly repentant heart. I have to move on.

I can still pray. My snatch list is full of these people that I can’t relate to spiritually, at this point. I pray that they will be snatched, be brought into right relationship with Christ and with me.

Ultimately it is Christ alone who can repair relationship. It takes a miracle sometimes, but God is a worker of miracles, every single day.

With God nothing is impossible.

Right?

Keep praying.

Maranatha!

Corgi Hollows is a magnet for interesting things, in my humble opinion. Negative and positive, of course. Both make life circumstances unique and novel.

Here is a quick update for you regulars: (I’m not posting this on any social media, so I expect that only the most regular readers will see this post.)

Ed is busy on our two acres. He recently received a bunch of strawberry plants from his girlfriend and he’s been planting them. He is raising all kinds of plants in the kitchen garden, that garden we put in a couple of years ago which is perfectly situated for watering and overseeing. Right now the volunteer lettuce is taking over the entire lawn and the new sidewalk! We can step over our salads as we walk to the car.

He is commencing his work on his Japanese garden. This will be amazing. We are all looking forward to it.

Cherie mows, helps next door with her grandparents. Hospice is now official for Grandpa. This doesn’t mean necessarily that my dad is going to see Jesus soon. He could improve to a certain degree, still, but hospice provides the exact kind of care that he requires after his recent stroke. My mom needs the extra help, too. It is a good thing.

My nephews and nieces are coming to see grandpa. My brother flew in from the New York City area for a few days to check on things and give Ed a break at nights.

Ed has rearranged his sleeping schedule to be available during the night for my dad. We are all calling him Saint Ed these days.

Our beautiful African princess is quietly preparing for her law school entrance exams. She is cooking things and experiencing adult life here at Corgi Hollows. All’s well.

I have recovered from subbing everyday, but with the onset of my dad’s health issues I have taken on the job of administrator more seriously. Corgi Hollows needs an administrator.

I just want to say: Single moms who work and take care of homes are AMAZING. I have not mastered this role yet. I’m not even close. The kids hear me cry out in agony when I forget to pay a bill (Brian always did that) or complain about something daunting that came up.

I really hate doing life alone, as a single. I didn’t sign up for this.

Sometimes we don’t get what we want.

My two-year-old-like tantrums are completely ineffective and unproductive, but they do release stress.

Soothing words from my adult children are always nice to hear.

I also love the hugs from my friends. I have international jet-setters in my tight circle right now, and frequent trips to the airport to wave them off or welcome them home. I hear the wonderful stories of their travels. These friends are integral to my happiness. They comfort me.

I have my sights set on Japan with Ed and Cherie, for my next travels. IF I can do Japan with them (and possibly my brother, too) I think I can do China on my own. Will we be able to? We are having something to look forward to, this trip, to celebrate Ed’s graduation from the University of Minnesota (Science and Technology) with a degree in Computer Engineering.

Who will be allowed to travel?

What will be restricted?

I am daily progressing with my Chinese language learning. I’m beginning to understand more expressions and more characters. It’s like a game, really. I think that right now I could travel there and get along. I hope to improve my skills by leaps and bounds before my first trip there actually happens (IF).

Some of you know that I am in the “control group” regarding the Covid-19 crisis. Despite my own good health I am very considerate of others and their own pandemic protocol. I know that my own standards have repercussions and consequences. I prefer to be healthy naturally, avoiding traditional or global mandates, due to some of the education I’ve received since and before Ed’s cancer.

I am not afraid of making changes as necessary, but I am entirely satisfied with my own health situation right now. Limitations should be considered carefully. Everything has its limit.

I have shied away from the controversy since Brian’s death. Even politics and prophecy are low on my list of mental head space. What took up most of my grey matter before barely sinks in these days. I rely on my bff to keep me informed, also LA Marzulli ( I love him!!!) and other top notch people. Carl Teichrib, you are the best! Jan Markell, Gary Stearman, Chris Pinto—I’m counting on you. We all should be listening to these wonderful people.

Politics are just depressing. I knew all of this mess was going to happen, as a prophecy buff, so I am minding my own business these days.

My father-in-law taught me that Micah is a book about minding one’s own business. While the globalists (WEF, WHO, Davos, Big Pharma, UN, etc.) bring about their global (beast) kingdom I am quietly pursuing the path God is giving me. I’m doing Micah.

I encourage you to set your sights on God’s path as well. It’s a positive approach to life.

Everything can be falling down around you, yet you are safe, a little flower in a granite boulder crack. The storms will beat the face of the rock, but you will be under His wing. Don’t you love these powerful images?

There is truth there.

Off to a graduation open house. It is that season. This young man is a stellar person. Ed went to Trail Life with him for a couple of years. I’m super excited to see what he does with his life…

Yes, Corgi Hollows is an interesting place.

June is becoming a most heart testing month for me. I wonder if anyone still likes this blog—I unpack so much grief and pain, and I know that I cannot handle any more grief and pain—why would I read about someone else’s?

There are wonderful empaths out there who still are brave enough to care about others.

I do care about others. I need others. Being a sort that had to pare down to find balance I had to retreat from my circles of people. I probably offended many people by doing that, but it was a survival tactic for me.

God is still good.

He still provides.

I am glad I am His.

How does anyone face the difficulties of human life without God?

Hope comes from Him alone. The only hope we have is in Christ and His sacrifice for our sin. One needs hope to survive.

Victor Frankl wrote a book after WWII that boiled down the meaning of life. Analyzing the survivors of death camps he acknowledged the role of hope in their mindset. Hope was a key element.

Do you know what I hope for?

Yes, probably. You know that I hope for the Rapture. I look forward to it. I just feast on I Thessalonians 4:17. It is such a hope for me. I encourage you to keep this verse in your heart and mind as well. It gets us through the days of dark memories and suffering.

Seven years ago, on Friday, June 13, Ed was diagnosed with Leukemia. I was in denial the entire day, but our oncologist confirmed it by that evening. Over 3 1/2 years of daily chemotherapy that followed (all kinds) I kept that hope of I Thess 4:17 in my heart.

Two years ago, on Thursday, June 18, my husband Brian unexpectedly joined Jesus in heaven due to heart failure while hiking the Appalachian Trail in New Hampshire. I was in denial for about a year after he died, but I kept I Thess 4:17 in my heart and mind and I looked forward to a grand reunion with him and Jesus. It kept me going forward.

I still can’t believe he’s gone. I know where he is, though, because of the hope of the Gospel, the good news.

As you know, I’ve been praying daily for people to be snatched (Jude 23), to be taken up with us believers to meet Jesus in the air. I have a lengthy list now, and it takes awhile to pray through it every day.

Something really encouraging, though, is to see God working in the lives of those on my snatch list!

Also, the unexpected interaction that has been occurring. It’s like God is showing me that He is answering my prayers to snatch these people! Exciting!

I may be able to reveal some of these “signs” someday, but right now these dear ones aren’t quite snatched yet, at least apparently.

The Spirit saves, prompts, woos. Prayer is powerful and mysterious to me. If you are on my snatch list you are probably experiencing some interesting ideas and thoughts, life circumstances and —-the love of God.

I’m learning more about His love. I am experiencing His universal power. I am seeing His prophecy and promises play out.

This is exciting, and it helps me look forward.

The world is a pretty bleak place right now, despite the June sunshine. We are getting in order for the global reset, the Beast Kingdom that God is allowing to be set up. Can’t you see it?

Fellow believers, we’re out of here, on to the marriage supper of the Lamb. Praise God!

This is hope, life-saving hope.

Any day now!

That word is pretty dangerous around this part of the country. It’s dismissive. It cancels out the importance of something.

I have heard myself say it over and over this past week. I started to ask myself why, and I wasn’t happy with the answers.

Life is really hard.

Corgi Hollows used to be a place where a positive outlook reigned supreme. Even in the throes of cancer and other difficulties (autism, unemployment, chronic pain,…) life seemed to be doable.

It is still doable, but there is a fragility that I cannot shake. God is God. He is our strength, and His promises still hold. I stand on His words in Scripture, and I reckon with the final outcome no matter what this life holds.

I still feel pretty bummed out about life right now.

Don’t worry. I have a fraction of hope left.

I focus on learning about Eastern Asia, learning enough Chinese to travel, and keeping the home fires burning (quite literally). I clock into my two paying jobs (subbing is over for the school year) and I get up in the morning.

Coffee and the Word, my habit.

Minnesota summer mornings can have a chill, and the fire is nice today. I opted for that instead of the porch. I have several fireplaces, and I love them all. Gas and wood. I’m blessed. There is something so cozy about the firelight.

So why do I feel dismissive, when I am so blessed?

Life.

The downside is that I realize how much shock and denial cost me. Life really stopped for me when Brian died. Some of you know that I am the poster child for the wrong way to handle becoming a widow. I was at a loss in every way.

I’m still coping.

I lost people on every level. I pared down my life seeking to regain a footing, closed social media accounts, lost friends, lost family.

I was seeking balance in a spinning world beyond my imagination.

This past week we entered a new phase with my dad. He is officially on “hospice” now. I am slowly grieving.

The grandchildren are wending their ways to visit and say hello—goodbye, whatever.

I see a life well-lived in my dad. I want him to reap the rewards of doing well. I pray that he is comforted and content at all times. Thankful.

We should not compare lives with anyone. Each person has a unique experience, some more difficult and even tragic than others. Some lighter and easier. It’s a truth. You will always find someone with more difficult circumstances.

Whatever.

I hurt today. I can’t dismiss my own pain. I’m me.

When I weep on a sunny day in June I am me.

Yesterday, driving home, a car hit a deer on US Hwy 12 on the Long Lake bypass. It happened in front of us, and I cried. I cried out to God as I saw the creature suffer. He answered my prayer and the deer expired within a minute.

I hate death.

I hate death.

I hate death.

Death is swallowed up in victory. Maranatha.