It was just over two weeks ago when the phone rang at 6:00 am. That is something normal for substitute teachers, but this day I was surprised because the students are mostly distance learning on Fridays. It was a Friday.
It was my mom. My dad had had a medical emergency.
It turned out to be a stroke, and fairly mild, by all accounts.
Oh, how we thank the Father in Heaven!
These past two weeks have been a gradual acclimation to a new normal. My dad is doing his exercises faithfully, remembering to follow his protocol, and everyone is trying to adjust.
My dear brother came from New York and stayed with our parents night and day while the first adjustments became routine.
In the meantime I have adjusted my life to accommodate my dad’s needs.
I am not subbing, and I took a hiatus from my hotel job. I dropped my graduate studies for now. Basically I gave up my own schedule. I cannot think of anything that is still the same. Ed, Cheri, and I make sure someone is always backing up my mom with my dad’s needs. We have hired a good friend to be a nighttime backup for most nights.
Because my mom has a heart problem she absolutely needs her sleep, so nights are critical, restful ones.
I have felt the need for good sleep for quite some time. I can handle the days far better, the depression, the adrenaline better when I’ve slept. Bless Paul, our friend. He’s been wonderful.
So, life changes. I don’t know how long before my dad can be more mobile and back to a sort of normal. He’s 94, so it may never be quite like it was. He sure is getting better quickly, so I attribute that to God’s answered prayer.
You know, when you’ve been through so much you really wonder about God answering prayer. He does, even in the midst of hard times.
It’s a perspective thing.
We are not promised happiness, health, wealth, or anything of this earth. We are warned of hardship and trial, poverty and loss. Grief. That is the existence of the human being.
But we are promised joy in the midst of trouble.
Expectations are tricky things.
I wrote an essay on expectations in high school. I remember thinking about how damaging they are! When you have no expectations you really cannot be too disappointed in any circumstance.
I think that is the way we are supposed to live.
Our eyes need to be fixed on Jesus.
It is the time to announce that my Margaret decided to get married in January. I was left out of the entire thing, as I disapproved. I guess I expected things to go a little slower, a little more reasonably.
After dating a young man for one month she decided to marry him.
A very good and old friend played accomplice in the marriage, and left me out of the equation. I felt the loss keenly. I guess I should not have had any expectations about friendships and obligations.
I have learned to give them to the Lord.
I had to learn again to give them to the Lord.
May the Lord be glorified, even in my loss.
Again, for the 8 of you who read my blog regularly, you are the ones who know. Others have learned our news through different circumstances.
I really don’t know how to do life very well, but I’ll have to shore up my gains and cut my losses.
Brian is a loss to my life, now Margaret.
I’ve had loss. I know loss.
At the base of my well of loss is the Holy Spirit who knows my heart and soul. No one else can judge me! God alone, the merciful lover of my soul is my Redeemer and strength.
God is good. He is good all the time.
He allows these hardships to teach us, to draw us to Himself. Life may not turn out as you expected. Corgi Hollows knows this deeply.
What are my expectations?
Certainly they are not welcome here!
Better to get on the time wagon and see where it heads next.
I know the driver. I trust Him.
Maranatha!
(Can’t Wait!!!!!!) 🙂 🙂 🙂