As I’ve written, the holidays are somewhat “off” this year with the house repair project. Since Christmas is sort of an emotional season, (candles, memories, sweets, scents, tastes, music, lights, gifts!) we are all affected by the circumstances around us more deeply.
Add grief and conflict to the mix and you have emotional gunpowder.
So the challenge—is to find peace and contentment in the middle of this storm of emotion.
In the middle of a worship song last Sunday the Lord gave me an image. It came right out of the blue, but it was so obviously a sweet thought from Him.
A bird. It had just hit the window and was still stunned. It was cupped in my hand. I was filled with compassion for it, hopeful for its recovery, hoping it wasn’t injured beyond healing.
And then I felt that I was that bird, held cupped in the Lord’s hands.
Of course He knows the end of the story. I do too, sort of. He wins. I belong to Him, so I win too.
But this is a moment of recovery and peace, sheltered in His care. Still stunned. Safe.
This Christmas will have that feel—-still stunned, but safe.
The four years that have just passed for me are like slamming against a glass window pane, falling helplessly to the stony ground below, checking my wings for escape.
The Lord heard my thump and came and lifted me safely. His compassion and even love for me came through.
Don’t you feel that tug at your heart when you see that poor little bird? How much more does God see us lovingly?
Perhaps it is still hard to believe that God really loves and cares for us, but His Word affirms that. I struggle with feeling loved.
The image of the bird in hand gave me a sense of warmth and reassurance. If I can care for a tiny creature, God can care for me, too.
Life is hard. Trouble is a given. Death and loss, conflict and pain are all a part of this existence. I’ve felt it all deeply, struggled to see it in a correct light of discipline, punishment and circumstance.
It’s ongoing. When I’ve figured it out I will let you know. (As if I could!)
But today I see God’s sweetness.
Gandalf and Topi have some health concerns. Topi has a respiratory thing, Gandalf a cyst that is irritated. We are praying for recovery, and a visit to the vet is happening today. Predicate continues to age. She is a wisp of her former self, yet still active and feisty. We think she is about 17 years old now (human years :)).
The pups are fine, thankfully.
Mild weather continues this week after an icy weekend. Someone was hired at the hotel so I need not work every weekend after this month. Working everyday except Sunday is the lot of many humans, but it does have its toll on life!
I’m old. I am not quite up to it. There’s laundry and chores that pile up at home when I work that much! Preparing for Christmas also takes so much time, so that isn’t happening much this year. Cherie is disappointed, but she is caught up in her university finals. That assuages.
There have been moments of fun, despite the busy schedule of teaching and “hoteliering.”
The trip last week, eating out with my mom and my niece, seeing my Bible Study people, lunching with our newlywed friends, coffee on Saturday with Ed, a brief celebration of Jim’s birthday—! Those three Christmas concerts I got to still ring in my mind. I pack my days early to late!
We fit in these moments, and I am thankful for the joy they bring. I’m thankful for friends and dear ones. How blessed I feel!
Margaret delivered a plate of beautiful cookies. Christmas time treats. Your beautiful cards are arriving daily. I am so blessed. Will I have time to address my own cards to you? That is a question.
I see your cards as gifts. News of you. Thank you.
Looking for Jesus!
MARANATHA