This is a time of year when spring is trying hard to come in. We have hours of sunshine, hours of rain, hours of gray.

The gray descends all around us, in the bare tree trunks and fields of dead hay. There is definitely a pallet, all beige and dull, of varied blandness.

The zephyrs and chinooks are tantalizing and more often.

Warm breezes.

The fowl of the air have returned. I see pairing swans on every body of water. The sandhill cranes announced their return, pterydactyl-like, and quietly hid in the swamps south of the house to nest. They spent at least three days making sure everything was up to snuff.

Canada Geese are honking overhead. At least one pair is nesting in the aforementioned swamp.

This morning I spied the Wood Duck pair in the familiar trees out front. We see them every year. My husband felled the massive basswood tree that the ducks used for many years. It was completely rotten at its core, and a perfect home for this species.

I wonder what this pair is thinking.

Loss?

They found another home last year, apparently, so I trust they will do so again this spring. It is kind of like how I drive by 901 East Ninth Street every time I visit the town we lived in. I like to see how the house changes over the years and remember the special features I enjoyed.

Aside from that the robins are back, fighting and swirling in turf battles.

God loves beauty. He makes so much of His creation beautiful, people at the forefront.

People are just so beautiful! Even in our fallen state there is this color to skin, sparkle to eyes, bearing, and presence that we can admire and praise God for.

I look at my children and I just marvel at God’s goodness.

God loves beauty.

As a believer I am always convicted about idolatry. I think that Christians are some of the worst offenders of this, but as I have observed fandoms for celebrities over the past few years I see a glorification of beauty, worship of the created, everywhere.

We always need to keep our worship in check. God alone deserves adoration.

It’s easy to glorify an author, speaker, preacher, teacher, musician, model, actor or actress. They are set up as examples for us to follow, learn from, or emulate. No one is immune from this. Those that think they are are probably worshiping themselves. And God created us to love beauty and be attracted to it.

God loves us, undeserving as we all are. He made ALL of us. He planned the influencers and the influenced. He planned our days and our circles of relationship. He made the beauty that we see all around us, that we can enjoy His marvelous creativity and ability.

Give the glory to God! As His creation springs back to life for summer, I see the beauty. The birds are just the first wave of life returning for the year’s season of growth. Look into the eyes of the person you see today and give God the glory for the beauty He made.

Imagine the beauty that awaits us in Christ’s presence!

MARANATHA!

This weekend didn’t go as planned. I caught an “under-the-weather” and I’m lying low.

There is always a lot to process in anyone’s life, and paring down to the bare minimum is a good way to limit the distractions from what is important.

At my age (almost 60 now) I have more focus on what is truly important and what is meaningless.

Some of you are still watching the drama play out in my colorful existence. It continues despite the paring down. Thank you for your concern, your continued prayer, your help. I’ve been in sore need.

I still feel raw.

I realize that grief is a process, that it takes its sweet time. There is no prescription for grief. We can chant the typical line-up of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. I know I’ve fluctuated between all of these on a regular basis.

Today I feel a bit like bargaining.

I accept that my life is a mess, but I still want to bargain with God for something to look forward to here on earth. Fruitless hope that it seems to be right now.

Covid 19 has stripped us all of family and friends, time and experiences. We’ve all had to give up much to accommodate everyone. It’s been tough. Relationships have suffered. Children have been scarred, deprived.

One of my fellow teachers claims that the face of education in the USA has been altered forever through the pandemic.

I believe it. I can see the effect of two years of masking and isolation on children. Kids have almost no attention span, they are subdued. They don’t care anymore.

They’re sweet, and I love them.

I also pray for these kids daily, as they are facing life with challenges that previous generations never dreamed of.

I was privileged to watch a short video clip of two Ukrainian army chaplains talking about their current experience recently. Despite Russian missiles falling around them as they serve the troops on the front, these men were cheerful, trusting, and thankful. They mentioned specifically the south Korean military and their strong influence of faith and encouragement to them in their current situation. Past training from Korea had a massive effect on these Ukrainian chaplains. I believe that the Holy Spirit truly comforts in times of great stress, and it appears that is the case in Ukraine right now.

One good thing is happening in Ukraine (besides many other unreported things) the Russian goons have all been called back to their homeland.

Ukraine has a chance to stand alone.

Propaganda is real, folks. Putin is a sick man, in more ways than you’d believe.

I look like his mother. I even used her picture has a profile photo on Facebook once and everyone thought it was I. My friend jokes about my appearing to him, chastising him for his bad behavior, aggression, and narcissism. If only that would work. Playing a ghost isn’t exactly anything I’d approve, in any case.

I pray for Ukraine. They have been beaten and bullied since history began, a fertile jewel between worlds of power. The Ukrainian people have suffered enough. They are turning to God in droves, and I know that God hears their prayers.

Joe Biden is the most incompetent president, leader, human to ever hold office. I pray for him and his salvation, before dementia captures his soul. To be such a pawn in the hands of the puppet masters is truly alarming. I thank God that His Holy Spirit still restrains the evil powers that will soon come forth.

I’m a prophecy watcher. I know the end of the story. These events could be those predicted from 2,000 years ago, or we could have another foreshadowing.

My eyes are looking up. I’m not discouraged about the world stage. Everything is going swimmingly according to plan.

I focus on my own life and desire to do what is right.

Today’s “Daily Light on the Daily Path” had a verse that really convicted me. I Peter 4:19: “Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to Him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.”

There is so much that speaks to me in that verse today.

I suffer. I realize that my life, and everyone’s life plays out according to God’s will, that God keeps our souls (perhaps not our bodies) and HE IS THE CREATOR. There is suffering according to God’s will.

His rules, His plans, His ways, His everything. His will.

We must trust. We must obey. We must wait patiently, with hope in our hearts.

There is a war going on, but God wins. According to the verse in I Peter I need to do well, do good even in the midst of suffering. Lord, help me.

Jesus will reign.

Be aware that there are dark powers afoot. You need the armor of God to withstand the darts of the devil. Are you under that dark power? Is your life mocking God’s grace? Are you encouraging sin in your fellow men and women? Have you repented of sin?

Watch out.

MARANATHA!

Since January and February are the months to practice the Scandinavian principle of “Hygge” we come out of the quiet with new thoughts and splendid ideas.

I tend to suffer from depression, seasonal and other, and I have struggled with that this Hygge time. I got little done, but my mind kept working.

I was astutely learning Chinese with my language partner in China, on Duolingo, and my textbooks. I felt that I redeemed the time somewhat that way.

I also knit a little sweater for a grandniece about to be born.

I subbed and worked at the hotel regularly, and I met with my new boss weekly. I wasn’t entirely fetal.

Cherie and Ed practiced their own Hygge. We try not to be critical of each other but we don’t see everything that is going on in our lives, even if we share our living space. We all think that we all should be doing “more.” Cleaning, studying, laundry, cooking, you name it.

It’ s easy to judge someone going through an unseen battle.

As the sun returns and warmth increases outside we leave the fireplaces and head toward industry.

Something interesting came up. Ed always tells me things I never knew before: Winnie the Pooh is really about the seven deadly sins.

I wrote a paper about the seven deadly sins back in high school. Those High School assignments never leave you, apparently. I’ve thought about the seven deadlies ever since.

John Bunyan wrote Pilgrim’s Progress. The book gave birth to amusement parks themed with Christian’s journey. Puritans thought up the idea to do this. Ed told me this, too.

Who would have thought that amusement parks are CHRISTIAN—!!!

Because of this lesson learned we are thinking of making our Japanese garden a Pilgrim’s Progress theme. The project is just a fun thing at this stage. I expect it to become burdensome and inspiring at the same time over the next few years. Such is a project of its nature.

I’m still trying to solve the water in the basement problem. It has me stumped. Maybe the Japanese garden project will also result in a better water solution. I confess that my cries to God for help seem unheard.

Thoughts upon waking: (you know those thoughts before fully awake?) Why do some people with huge messes in their lives end up apparently good-to-go with great outlooks, and other people (like me) with smooth paths meet seasons of chaos and disappointment, grief, with no happy end in sight?

I confess to being downhearted and depressed about things.
I know God is good.

He defines Himself as good. He defines Himself as Love. I accept His definition. I may have trouble understanding His ultimate plan. I certainly don’t see my significance, yet I know He loves me. I simply must accept His control of my life, my future, my everything.

I guess that is the safest place to be, even if it doesn’t appear safe. It doesn’t appear good. It looks scary, even.

As we watch the world descend into the New World Order orchestrated by the puppet masters and their diabolical spiritual head we can rest in God’s plan. That is true hope.

I learned that two people in Kiev who are literally sleeping in a bathtub are praying for me. They are my friends, but I am humbled by their concern, as I should be prostrate before God lifting them in prayer for His protection. I am floored by their sweet interest.

Will you pray for V and V with me? Pray for their protection and their ministry there.

Who is on your snatch list? Jude 23

I am going to keep asking this until the Rapture of the church in Christ. We need to be praying daily for the salvation of many, of the world!

MARANATHA

Corgi Hollows reactivated on Facebook. It was time. The time of the singing of birds has come. The winter has past, and the rains have sprung. Come Away! Come Away!

There is a theme in both George MacDonald’s and Tolkien’s works that crops up. It has to do with beautiful youth in age.

Think of all the characters that are “ancient” yet appear youthful.

As we all age, day by day, we see the effects of a fallen world. Death is just the end, but daily our existence reminds us that the good fades away. We are in a spiral towards the end.

God chooses to give us hope, though. He promises eternal health and joy. Anyone that has experienced that indescribable place called Heaven can attest to that eternal bliss.

As I grow older that promise of perfection becomes more dear. I hate seeing the effects of decay and death. It must be endured, but I still hate it.

I’m seeing the decay of winter outside my front door. Spring is nosing in after this bitter, deathly cold we’ve endured. The temps are nudging above freezing.

I’m recovering from a slight cold, headaches, all the ominous symptoms. I took my horse medicine and my tonic water. I’m fine. I’m just a little sad and tired, nursing my red nose.

I guess I’m feeling my old age.

We are still loved, we are still valued. We are still here.

We are waiting for the return of our eternal King, and it cannot be long now.

Endure to the end. Eternity promises to be worth the pain of now.

Life has been flying by here at Corgi Hollows.

My new job takes up most of my mental energy, and I’m still striving for balance with my two paying jobs, my school, and my new position. I’ve been subbing like a crazy woman. It seems I am in high demand. Since I enjoy it I find it hard to say no to some of my favorite teachers.

My Chinese language learning is soaring, with a new language partner in China. We have met in person, many years ago, but we are about to embark on a real partnership—with her learning English and me learning Chinese. My Chinese “son” is her real son, and so we are now his “moms.” 🙂 So cute.

It seems that in a heartbeat everything can change, a chance comment, encounter or thought can change the course of life. I feel this way lately.

I’ve got a lot of reading to do. A lot.

This winter has been super-cold, too. I don’t remember a recent winter where we woke up to below zero so many mornings!

It makes me extremely grateful that God has provided a working furnace, cozy fireplaces, and cars that start up quickly.

What else am I grateful for? A good friend that has been helping me with the persistent problem in my basement: dampness. He will soon have repaired all the damage. I am thrilled. I’m hoping that the entire construction project can be all finished SOON.

I’m grateful for good friends who step in and help us troubleshoot our mechanical issues! Thanks, Dave!!!

So with this new course in life I’ve pared down my social media, too. Some of you may have missed Corgi Hollows on Facebook. I don’t miss it as much as I thought I would.

I’ll write here to keep in touch.

Did you know that you can cry with heartache and still be joyful?

You can.

This morning I have had the urge to weep, yet I have a joyful spirit. I am focusing on the blessings God has given me, yet I am keenly aware of my needs and my loss.

Sounds like a paradox.

It is.

Our church is going through a 40 days of prayer course. I’m finding the sermons helpful and the readings inspiring. I needed to be reminded of some of God’s attributes: His love, His power, His willingness to give (lavishly) to His own.

The part about a parent giving what is good for a child really hit me in a new light. Parents will never encourage anything detrimental for their children.

I would never encourage alcohol, drugs, or any lascivious behavior in any of my children. I wouldn’t encourage greed, pride, envy, anger, lust, gluttony, or sloth. Those seven deadlies are concise and helpful in defining the roots of problems or plain sin.

We are training a very endearing puppy these days. She has a short coat of hair, so she hates the sub-zero temps we’ve been enduring lately. Still, we make her go out regularly. We often forget that she still needs surveillance 24/7 and she makes mistakes. We are always cleaning up after her. She’s an incredibly smart dog, yet she takes advantage of our lax vigilance.

She’s treated to the best of treats and privileges. She’s loved and coddled. She has the best care and love. She still needs compassion and forgiveness, understanding.

Does the Heavenly Father know I need His compassion, forgiveness, understanding?

Of course.

Why is that so hard for me to believe?

At least lately.

I know that the Father wants good gifts for me. He has given me purpose and ability, fellowship and ease. He has given me heat in the dead of winter, sustenance for life, two basic human needs. He has taken charge of my life in ways that I could never have imagined, and I am grateful.

Yet I’m still sad. I miss my husband and I still have a hard time believing he’s gone—even a year and a half after his death. I wonder how long I will feel this way. It seems to be like an electric shock that surprises me when I touch the big old dryer at the hotel where I work on weekends, and I’m full of static from handling the blankets. It shouldn’t surprise me, but it does. Always.

As I choose to focus on a smaller circle I have been blessed with new directions of interest and industry.

The school where I teach has about 1,000 students. They all know me. They give me joy when they enter the room and cry out happily, “It’s Mrs. Corgi.”

I had an unruly class of 8th graders last Friday. These kids have given me grief since I started my job at the district 5 years ago. They have issues with respect.

The day ended with a huge laugh, though, and my faith in these bright and promising students was restored. We shared a moment of levity after a few trying moments. This type of thing gives joy, gives hope, and gives place. I belong there.

I guess I belong here on this earth right now. Despair and heartache can snatch that sense of belonging. I have longed for heaven for so long.

Why are we still here?

Maranatha!?

I am asking big things of God: I want to be raptured. I want to be light in this world and in the Millenium, that thousand-year reign of Christ on earth.

I want to enter at the strait gate. I want to be on the narrow way.

And I want my children to be on it, too. I want those on my “Snatch List” to be on it.

If you know me I want you to be on it.

This gives me joy, to think that the Father will answer my supplications.

I can cry, and I can be joyful.

Today I am sad with joy.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

In Romans 12:9-21 there is a list we can all pray through. To prevent the hindering of prayer we must confess and repent of sin in our lives, and this is a helpful tool to find those areas in our lives that need purification.

I’m learning much about prayer, living life (on a new level) conquering sin, and being watchful.

Being single (again) after 30 years, reluctantly and heartbreakingly, has been a challenge for me spiritually.

I have the tendency toward depression, so having a bleak outlook can be my second nature. I tend to underestimate God’s power.

Confession: I’m sorry for doing that, Lord.

The God who fashioned the Universe—-can He not save those that are on my daily prayer “snatch” list?

He can.

Since it’s been awhile since I’ve written, and I’ve come through blue holidays, I am touching on several themes in this blog post: sin, prayer, confession, and the nature of God.

Isn’t this the heart of most believers?

Doesn’t our walk with Christ boil down to these themes?

I could add “servanthood” to the list, but that follows a correct understanding of the previous list.

We must acknowledge and repent of sin.

We must pray.

We must confess (with our communication skills) our faith.

We must understand the nature of our God, the Creator, the one, true God.

This faith walk is truly difficult. It may require death, huge sacrifice, financial difficulty, hunger, denial of desires, loss. This is the result of living in a fallen world. But the focus is on the eternal state in the life of any believer.

Mark 8:36

What does it profit a man to gain the whole world but lose his soul?

We’re talking eternity here.

When one’s spouse leaves for eternity one can think of eternity more clearly, more often, more realistically. It’s just real. Eternity is more important than now.

So I beg of you to get right before God right now. I beg of you to repent, confess, pray, and deny yourself. I’m on this journey with you. We’re looking for the great snatching, and we’re hoping to finish strong.

Are you on the snatch list? (Jude 23)

Do you have the influence to urge others to deny themselves and seek God?

Jesus Saves! He is the rock upon which we can firmly stand.

Perhaps you do not realize that the devil is the prince and power of the air, has much beauty, and seems extremely desirable. His power is almost irresistible. But it is resistible. The Holy Spirit is greater. Cry out, call out to God for the power to resist the devil.

God’s forgiveness and mercies are new EVERY MORNING! Struggling with the devil and the sinful nature is not the end for those who trust Christ. We have a daily hope in God’s power and forgiveness.

He will not abandon us. We cannot be snatched from His hand.

What hope for a glorious future!

This is more important than anything else in life.

It’s 2022, a new year. Make this year the one to achieve balance, direction, hope, and godly purpose. Resist the devil, the puppet masters, the worldliness and confusion, the apathy and the sin nature to be Christlike, to be eternally minded, to be eternally saved.

It’s your choice.

See the power.

MARANATHA!

I have a new job and I’m thrilled about it. It’s truly my dream job, as a director of operations for a 501c3 international NGO. The organization is in hibernation right now due to Covid and political restrictions, but it’s ready to roar with a little push. I’m learning.

This dark month of our Minnesota year has been unusually difficult for me. The projects that are ongoing in the house have me unsettled. We’ve reached a forced hiatus due to some complications. Everything is torn up and at 6’s and 7’s. It does nothing for my spirit. I did pull down the Christmas decorations and attempted to dress up the place some.

Not a single leaf was able to raked this past fall. Snow fell on a thick carpet of oak leaves. The temperatures have dropped low, and the fireplace fans are broken. We’ve resorted to switching on the gas fireplace more than we should.

I’ve had a back ache for several weeks (not enough swim time) and I can’t help wonder if it is related to the scourge of our day, the dreaded variant virus.

These days I prefer to hibernate. My depression is real.

As the youngest child/social butterfly who has thousands of “friends” I’ve been sucked into a new atmosphere of quiet and limits. It’s not negative, but it has its hardships. I feel alone these days.

I know help is a phone call away, and many would run to me at my first cry for help.

It is interesting to see who has been revealed as my persistent and truly precious people . My loss has revealed my truest friends. There are those that I cling to and they reciprocate. I’m thankful, and blessed.

God is my husband. He is a wonderful husband. This isn’t weird, it is Biblical. He reminds me at just the right times to get certain things done, He takes care of everything, and protects me/us.

The loneliness of widowhood is real and heartbreaking, but God understands this. My faith has only been strengthened as I see His gentle forgiveness and mercy, His provision and kindness.

If something looks to be a problem I’m always prepared to see it turn into the blessing He intended. I’ve seen this too many times to become discouraged. Yes, I see problems. They are depressing. I’ve learned to wait and see God’s hand work things out His way.

If my desires are His, then He will fulfill them. That is a promise He made.

Life is hard. Don’t believe anything else. IF you have good things be extremely grateful. If God has given you a relationship you need to cherish it. If you have been given children, grandchildren, praise the Lord. God is so good.

Holidays are hard for those of us with loss. I’m not kidding. This isn’t some cliche. I can still thank God in the midst of my pain.

Thank you, friends, for your cards and gifts, your thoughts of us, your prayers. I’m still overwhelmed, even after a year and a half since Brian left us. I’m still adjusting.

Will I ever adjust?

At the moment I doubt it, but God is always good.

Come, Lord Jesus!

Maranatha!

Here we are in the throes of finals for the semester. I admit defeat this semester. I’ve had difficulty with concentration again, so I’m asking my University for another break, and they graciously granted help.

This university has been remarkably helpful with my situation. I am doing everything within the rules, within the limits, but, of course, my situation stretches credulity.

As I see people sicken and even pass around me I cannot help but wonder what is going on. Is everyone as vulnerable and at a loss as I’ve been these past three years? These past 7 years?

I’m not trying to feel sorry for myself. We’re all in this hard life together. Covid has brought unprecedented measures to the world. Loss is everywhere. I am not alone.

Certainly I’ve had some earth-shaking events, some I haven’t been candid about here on Corgi Hollows. I begin to question when this will all quiet down.

I picked up a plaque at the thrift store this fall. It says “When does the simple life begin?”

Ha ha.

I hung it on the wall in the living room. I believe the answer is NEVER.

It’s rhetorical.

I’m beginning a new venture. I have a new appointment/job with a non-profit organization.

I am learning Chinese, thanks to my Chinese “son” whom we hosted 15 years ago. The new job will put my Chinese to use.

Blogging will become a happenstance thing from here on out. Check in once in awhile. I’m excited about this new path, and I see the hand of the Almighty in directing me. God is always good.

I never know when I’m filled with a yearning to write, so I may write even more! Sometimes having a safe structure in which to abide can be conducive to creativity. Sometimes the wild and crazy uncertainty twinged with melancholy sparks the creative juices to flow. For me it has been both.

Cherie finishes her degree here soon. She completed the November novel writing challenge, nanowrimo, as well as her coursework. Good for her!

Ed is plugging away at the most difficult classes of his program. Two more weeks.

Pray for us, still, please. We still need it.

God has blessed us with caring friends, those that recharge our batteries and understand our deepest sadness. I am grateful.

My dad continues to recover from his stroke. He’s doing so well. He’ll be 95 here in a flash!

Miss Yukichan is a delight. She is still learning and irritating her siblings. She is just so much fun, though. All the pets are healthy.

We are healthy. Blessings.

God bless you.

MARANATHA!!!

Holy lives please God.

This is a fact.

Holiness is made possible through the shedding of Christ’s blood on the cross. First and foremost it is by grace alone that we are made holy before God.

As someone who has been a believer for 55 years I have struggled with holiness and how it looks in my life.

I am well aware of my pitfalls, my sins, my shortcomings. These things are not holy, yet they are covered by the transaction that took place 2,000 years ago.

But how does holiness manifest for me today, this day, in my moment by moment?

I like a scenario painted in a book I read long ago (the name escapes me right now) where the author writes that you can choose a blue shirt or a red, and this may have minimal effect on your life, your holiness—

I’m not sure why I think of this from time to time, but I believe that each small thought and choice can affect other things.

I swim at the YMCA regularly. Once in a very long while I am the first and only person to enter the pool. The water is like glass, completely still. I put my finger in and that stillness is disrupted, even for the thousands of gallons of water in front of me.

I choose a red shirt.

It’s a ripple.

God, in His infinite knowledge (how can we comprehend this?) has written this chapter already. I can rest in this peaceful awareness of His plan, His ultimatum.

This is still holiness, I believe.

I am struggling with the day-to-day right now. I battle depression and lack of motivation.

I’m functional.

I actually faced four grades of middle school math classes yesterday, the strugglers. I can relate to struggling with math. I related to these kiddos. We had a good day together. No one was beaten up, everyone left the classroom with a peaceful countenance.

This is success on a daily basis.

This may be what holiness looks like, too. Small victories, keeping a clean slate, clearing up the stains as they appear. Trusting the God who made everything to make the way clear, to keep us in perfect peace, even when you are hated and persecuted.

Even when you are seeing a veil of fog and the sun has been dimmed with the blue of depression.

MARANATHA!

It can’t be long now. I woke up from a deep sleep the other day with a strange sensation that something was different. Is this the rapture?

I think the rapture will happen so suddenly we will hardly be aware of it. One existence to another in a twinkling, a fraction of a second.

Are you praying for your “snatch list?”

Pray that they escape from the coming darkness, the beast system, from the Illuminati, from false doctrine, from pervasive evil, from the beautiful side of evil.

My “snatch list” gets longer and longer.

Let’s pray.