One thing about Veggie Tales that I recall from listening to the song tape was the one about the water buffalo.

Everybody has a water buffalo—

There is always something that is in our thought process that we want to keep that doesn’t line up with the Word of God.

I know this. The process of stripping everything away from my life —husband, brother, dreams, plans, (the list goes on…)—has made me see the purity of God’s promises in a clearer light.

He will never leave me, nor forsake me.

I bet some of you think He is punishing me. I understand. I’ve asked the same question. Why did so much go crazy “wrong” over the last two years?

He’s refining me. Punishment? Perhaps. I am a sinner. I do not justify my sins at all. I know them, confess them, turn from them daily and seek God’s face to help me overcome.

I sin.

Jesus paid for my sin on the cross. I do not want to sin that grace may abound. I want to live a life that is pleasing to my God.

The refining fire is rather hot lately. Suffering is the name of the game. Why, Lord? How long?

How long?

I’ve held to some “water buffaloes” over the years. They are really hard to give up, even when Scripture contradicts them on the face.

For me the biggest one was evolution. I had to face that the creation account in Genesis was real and true. This evolution water buffalo, when pitched out, completely redefined my worldview.

I was a Christian, but my worldview was not Biblical.

Now I have a Biblical worldview and other water buffaloes are pretty obvious.

-Women pastors

-Marriage after divorce

-Divorce

-Critical Theory

-Sodomy

-Abortion

-Drunkeness

-Authority

Did I tap your water buffalo? Do you justify and cling to something on this list? You could probably come up with a whole list of water buffaloes that you see in other people. I find that my own are much easier to ignore than the ones I see in others. Did I step on your toes?

Believers are held to a different standard. Believers are at many different stages, the Holy Spirit moves in each believer to convict and strengthen, uphold and seal. No human brain can comprehend the transformation all at once.

I love those stories of addicts being filled with the Holy Spirit and completely forsaking the past! God is great.

I love Caryl Matrisciana’s story of her momentous conversion, the conviction of sin that dawned on her immediately. Powerful.

This Holy Spirit transformation is the most powerful, life-changing thing in our world. I know this.

We can fight it, cling to water buffaloes, be tempted —(You know those Seven Deadlies: Pride, Anger, Lust, Envy, Greed, Gluttony, Sloth) but the Holy Spirit ALWAYS offers a way out and forgiveness.

God’s great order is obvious to the believer. Don’t fight it. Don’t twist Scripture to justify your water buffalo.

I’m lifting my foot now.

Maranatha!

I am a musical person. My list of musical credentials are as follows:

Voice, piano, flute, guitar, pipe organ, recorder, harp, oboe (badly), viola (badly), and now I’ve got a Double Bass in the house which I am keeping for my friend who is moving away. Its deep voice gives me thrills when I pluck those strings.

My big things now are voice and flute. I play the piano as if it is a part of my breathing, but I’m no longer very good at it. I sight read everything. I make a pretty good substitute for the music program at my school.

I was the student band conductor in high school, and I love conducting the choirs at the Middle School and High School.

For my alto voice I have soloed in “The Messiah,” by Handel, and Benjamin Britton’s Ceremony of Carols. I sang in a girl’s group (Daughters of the King) back in high school with my friends. I’ve sung with several community choirs in Louisiana, Texas, and Iowa. I sang with the Northern Lights Chorale for 10 years, the Minnetonka Choral Society for 3 seasons.

I love to sing. I love music. I’ve been a church pianist, soloist, and choir member as I was able and asked.

I believe music is absolutely powerful, and that God made it to glorify Himself through our ability to make music.

I love the mathematical format, the symmetry, the harmony, and the emotional energy.

I know the power of praise music to dispel depression. I know the power of J.S. Bach to dispel mania. I’ve experienced that.

This year I have listened to Ola Gjeilo’s music almost every single day. His ponderous Norwegian background has genetically linked with my own Norwegian background—perhaps also the Swedish in me. I remember a thought from Isabella Rosselini about her Swedish days (dark) and her Italian days (light). I think there is a depth or heaviness to the Scandinavian background. Maybe it is the darkness of the winters.

His music soothes and speaks for me.

I needed it this year.

Sometimes my own grief was just a black mass in my chest. This music breathed for me.

I’m grateful to him for composing such healing music for grief for me. In particular I listened to the recording by Voces8, a song called “The Lake Isle.” That CD is wonderful. I can never be tired of it. I feel it is my spirit’s message.

It helps to know Brian and I shared our love for Gjeilo’s music! I feel it honors my late husband in a way when I listen to it. It is almost like being able to share the beauty with him while he enjoys heaven.

I think about heaven a lot when I’m listening to Gjeilo’s works. It’s heavenly.

When you see me weeping in the truck as I drive down the highway you will know that I am listening to Gjeilo.

It’s helping me.

(But please still say a prayer for me, because I need that!)

Maranatha!

It was just over two weeks ago when the phone rang at 6:00 am. That is something normal for substitute teachers, but this day I was surprised because the students are mostly distance learning on Fridays. It was a Friday.

It was my mom. My dad had had a medical emergency.

It turned out to be a stroke, and fairly mild, by all accounts.

Oh, how we thank the Father in Heaven!

These past two weeks have been a gradual acclimation to a new normal. My dad is doing his exercises faithfully, remembering to follow his protocol, and everyone is trying to adjust.

My dear brother came from New York and stayed with our parents night and day while the first adjustments became routine.

In the meantime I have adjusted my life to accommodate my dad’s needs.

I am not subbing, and I took a hiatus from my hotel job. I dropped my graduate studies for now. Basically I gave up my own schedule. I cannot think of anything that is still the same. Ed, Cheri, and I make sure someone is always backing up my mom with my dad’s needs. We have hired a good friend to be a nighttime backup for most nights.

Because my mom has a heart problem she absolutely needs her sleep, so nights are critical, restful ones.

I have felt the need for good sleep for quite some time. I can handle the days far better, the depression, the adrenaline better when I’ve slept. Bless Paul, our friend. He’s been wonderful.

So, life changes. I don’t know how long before my dad can be more mobile and back to a sort of normal. He’s 94, so it may never be quite like it was. He sure is getting better quickly, so I attribute that to God’s answered prayer.

You know, when you’ve been through so much you really wonder about God answering prayer. He does, even in the midst of hard times.

It’s a perspective thing.

We are not promised happiness, health, wealth, or anything of this earth. We are warned of hardship and trial, poverty and loss. Grief. That is the existence of the human being.

But we are promised joy in the midst of trouble.

Expectations are tricky things.

I wrote an essay on expectations in high school. I remember thinking about how damaging they are! When you have no expectations you really cannot be too disappointed in any circumstance.

I think that is the way we are supposed to live.

Our eyes need to be fixed on Jesus.

It is the time to announce that my Margaret decided to get married in January. I was left out of the entire thing, as I disapproved. I guess I expected things to go a little slower, a little more reasonably.

After dating a young man for one month she decided to marry him.

A very good and old friend played accomplice in the marriage, and left me out of the equation. I felt the loss keenly. I guess I should not have had any expectations about friendships and obligations.

I have learned to give them to the Lord.

I had to learn again to give them to the Lord.

May the Lord be glorified, even in my loss.

Again, for the 8 of you who read my blog regularly, you are the ones who know. Others have learned our news through different circumstances.

I really don’t know how to do life very well, but I’ll have to shore up my gains and cut my losses.

Brian is a loss to my life, now Margaret.

I’ve had loss. I know loss.

At the base of my well of loss is the Holy Spirit who knows my heart and soul. No one else can judge me! God alone, the merciful lover of my soul is my Redeemer and strength.

God is good. He is good all the time.

He allows these hardships to teach us, to draw us to Himself. Life may not turn out as you expected. Corgi Hollows knows this deeply.

What are my expectations?

Certainly they are not welcome here!

Better to get on the time wagon and see where it heads next.

I know the driver. I trust Him.

Maranatha!

(Can’t Wait!!!!!!) 🙂 🙂 🙂

I’m convinced of it. I believe that God enjoys the glory we give Him for his goodness and his greatness!

When we claim the honor in something that God clearly had a part in bringing about we rob Him of his glory.

God is great, and God is good. He is love and He is merciful. He is the righteous judge.

He has the power to overcome the physical limitations that we are aware of. He acts within and through his creation supernaturally.

Because of this I have utter confidence in His power to bring about the impossible!

I fully believe that Christ literally rose, was resurrected, from the dead 2,000 years back. This is something that goes beyond all mental understanding, all scientific knowledge!

Jesus was dead, for three days, and then he miraculously became alive again—-not just a spirit but a body—a physical body!

The Shroud of Turin bears a fascinating image that suggests an X-ray or radioactively imprinted miracle.

I happen to know that X-rays weren’t around much in 33 A.D..

I know a little history, ya know.

I don’t put anything past the supernatural world, but the Shroud of Turin seems to be one place were it intersected dimensions and left a lasting mark.

The shroud is dated to the time of Christ. The shroud is a piece of woven linen filled with pollen and seeds native to the Holy Land. Scientists can trace the actual path of the shroud, the map of where it has traveled over 2,000 years by analyzing the flora and fauna in the weave.

The shroud bears an image of a crucified man, it has blood stains, which have been tested for DNA.

The wounds of the man fully and completely match the wounds that Christ was reported to have had inflicted on Him while on the cross and before. The man wears a crown of thorns.

I believe, like others, that some type of energy burst imprinted the image of Christ on the cloth at the moment of Resurrection.

The shroud is mentioned in Scripture. It was clearly preserved by the early church, and held in high esteem. Those whom it passed on to also seemed aware of its origin. The Shroud was miraculously preserved through this time, even until now, when we have the joy of using modern science techniques to analyze and understand it better!

What a witness for this age.

Christ arose.

One time someone said that in order to identify with Christ, be saved, one must believe in the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

That resurrection sure sticks in the craw of those who refuse to believe. There are “pastors” who do not believe in the resurrection.

They are the Sadducees of today, refusing to acknowledge the impossible becoming possible.

God gets the glory in Christ’s resurrection.

He alone deserves our praise.

Maranatha, Lord Jesus!

Many people are running after worldly, earthly success. Whether it is fame or fortune, love, fulfilled lusts and desires, satisfaction, security—all the things the mind and body are attracted to, we are in the race to “make it.”

God acknowledges this. He made many of these desires in our hearts and they can be disciplined for His good.

Disciplined desire.

He has promised to provide for our needs, and yet He allows suffering and hardship in each of our lives.

Where is the border between suffering and satisfaction?

Satan knows the appeal of success, and that may his first ploy in tearing the heart from truth.

If that doesn’t work (and it usually does) he may use a frontal attack.

Satan cannot win. He has already been defeated, so in light of that truth we can observe our daily lives with the perspective of the final outcome: eternal life.

It really isn’t about this life after all. It is about the next.

As I ponder the powers of this earth, the global monarchs of tech and wealth, I wonder if they see the fleetingness of this existence, especially compared to the one to come.

He that is faithful in little will be given much.

That is the goal of every Christ-follower.

Being faithful.

What much will be given will be in the life to come.

The life that exists for eternity.

Don’t mess up this one. Get your eternity settled before pursuing the lusts of this flesh here.

God may give you health and wealth, beauty and peace, success and love here on earth. He has given me all of that…

But it really isn’t about this life.

He is preparing us for His kingdom, for His service, for our new role as His own.

The prep is just beginning.

I am coming soon.

Jesus promised this, and He is King. Two thousand earth years to Jesus is a blink. He is coming soon.

In an effort to understand my daughters’ generation better, to relate to the hows and whys of their choices I spent time watching three “K-dramas.” I knew these were popular with my girls over the past few years. I understood that Korean drama was relatively innocent, high school stuff, far more wholesome than American culture television and media.

I didn’t bother to watch for myself.

But now I did. I watched the most popular ones (I think) and saw that they are indeed fairly innocent, that the heroes and heroines are morally good and the plot lines involved fashion and food. It is easy to get sucked into the beauty and the sweet.

The last one I watched (with Cherie) was one called “The King, Eternal Monarch.” Very lush, and an intriguing plot.

As I watched it I thought about the supernatural themes that reflected the promises of our Real Eternal King Jesus.

Not just sci-fi, rom-com, —-the truth is that Jesus IS coming, and He IS King.

Happy endings are for us, the believers.

This hope can give us the strength to “wait a little longer,” as the fictitious king in the K-drama implored his lady. I saw the imagery.

My King is coming. He promised.

My Jewish Carpenter King is coming.

Just wait a little longer.

Are you ready? Are you watching?

Wait.

Maranatha.

Like never before (and I’ve always struggled through March) I am weeping my days through this month.

God has given gentle temps these weeks, but the rains/sleets/snows have come per usual. I, too, have been weeping, and that is a sign that my shock has begun to wear off, as I was just numb for months. I weep like the sky.

Somehow I believe that this heaviness of spirit will once abate. One does not live without hope.

I heard recently from a source that the evil at the upper echelons of our world is waxing so great we’d be unable to comprehend it.

Knowing the spiritual forces of darkness are being restrained right now gives me comfort, but also it gives us a glimpse of that incredible power.

Greater is He who is In you, than he that is in the world.

Jesus wins.

The choice is always ours to pick the winner. Since we know the winner, it seems ridiculous to pick the loser.

I guess people won’t know without a preacher.

So, amidst my weeping I will continue to proclaim the message of salvation. Time is so short. Prophesied events are unfolding all around us and we must be aware of how little margin is left.

Repent. The kingdom of heaven is truly at hand. Weeping will not endure. Joy comes in the morning.

God wins.

Ask the Holy Spirit to fill you today. Commit your life in faith to Christ Jesus, believing He died for your sins on the cross and rose again the third day.

The resurrection is real. The supernatural is real.

God is real.

Get over your own limitations and choose life.

Maranatha!

It’s spring, and I cannot help but reflect on this past year, back to last spring when Brian was chopping down FOUR trees: three oaks and a huge basswood.

Who could have imagined he’d be with Jesus this spring?

Not I. Sometimes I get glimpses of reality through my numbness and the shock just makes me catch my breath.

Yes, I still have trouble believing my fit and energetic husband is not here.

Do you know how many times I’ve had a racing heart and wondered if I was going to join him since then?

More times than I can count. Don’t be surprised if you hear I’m gone! It’ll either be the Rapture or something like what Brian experienced! Well, that is what I think.

Stress can cause many physical symptoms, and believe me, I’ve had my share of symptoms this year.

God has given me rest at night, and that is a HUGE blessing. Someone must be praying for that exactly!

Will you pray for my mom to get good rest, too, now? As we age sleep becomes more elusive at night.

She needs it because she has a heart condition. She needs good rest. Stress has touched her and dad too, of course. Can you believe that my parents have lost FOUR children?

Susan died of a brain tumor in 2006, Jud and Mary were killed by a drunk driver in 2019, and now Brian has passed from heart failure. Pray that my brother and his wife, and I, stick around to care for Mom and Dad for awhile.

I know that I shouldn’t worry. “Cast your cares on the Lord !”

How about the Bob Marley song, “Don’t Worry About Anything!” Clearly he knew the Lord.

Springtime is a time of expectation. I have no idea how I will manage the yard and the splitting of wood for filling the woodshed. I have no idea how it will all pan out with multiple things. Do we, any of us, really know?

Of course not.

I will continue to take one day at a time, hunkering down, managing.

God is always good. Can I trust Him?

Yes. I can trust Him and His promises, even when it seems hard to understand the depth of pain and loss, grief and sin in all of us.

MARANATHA, Lord Jesus. We are waiting.

The time of the singing of birds is come, the winter is past and the rain is here. COME AWAY!

Do you remember that Merv and Merla song? I’ll see if I can find it on YouTube.

There are a few updates for those of you who have been following my chaotic life recently. Last weekend my dad had a stroke. My brother drove out from NY to help us assess the situation, how we are going to manage.

Life changes for all, I’m suspecting.

Dad can walk, he is pretty clear in his mind, too. He had physical therapy for another condition, so those sessions just became more vital to getting him back to a new normal. Someone needs to be with him at all times, so the strain is on my mom and the rest of us to work out our schedules to fill in all the hours.

The real goal is to keep Dad home. Period.

He has been such a good and generous dad, a quiet man, but with keen humor and intellect. He loves his home here among the swamps of Minnesota. (There are more swamps than lakes in this state). We want so badly to allow him his wish of being quiet.

He prays for us, he cares about us, he is concerned for all of his children and grandchildren. His heart breaks when we are hurt or suffering.

There isn’t a town, or road in this state he doesn’t know. If you have ever met him he remembers you. (I, sadly, did not inherit that gene.)

He loves his family, his brothers and sisters, all passed now, and all of his nieces and nephews. He remembers his youth during the depression vividly.

I will be substitute teaching less, as I must be next door with Dad.

I know that he has been looking for the Rapture of the church his entire life, (94 years) and I wonder if he will get to experience it! I know I expect to, and Dad did too. What a blessed hope for us as life passes.

Maybe I’ll use the time to do more music. Dad loves to hear the piano, and Ed goes next door frequently to give a concert. Mom and I also give concerts to Dad regularly. Perhaps I will get to do more art. I have let that slide with the weight of “business matters” I’ve been handling since Brian died. One can only do so much.

I’m glad I’m “relatively” young and strong so I can actually lift Dad if needed. I try to get to the pool to keep fit, but my hotel job (folding laundry) is a great work-out too. Imagine folding hundreds of sheets and towels!

Maybe I’ll have more time to “blog.”

I’ll miss the kids at school. I’ve gotten to know them all, and I have a special place in my heart for each one. Perhaps a day will free up for me to see them again sometime.

Changes.

If you want to come and be with Dad, visit, so Mom and I can have an hour free, we’d welcome you! He is really an interesting person to talk to. He knows so much history! (That was his major in college.) Mostly he needs someone there to make sure he doesn’t accidentally fall if he gets up. He is learning to do things by himself and getting stronger each day.

Let us know. We’d love it.