Yesterday was my oldest brother’s birthday. He would have been 67. Some days I cannot believe he is no longer here.

He and his wife were killed by a drunk driver in California four years ago. The taxi driver and the drunk were also killed.

I just hate to see his birthday slip by unacknowledged. I know many people think of him, the tragedy, the waste.

And the grief that extends to his whole family—that is painful still.

Just remember.

And don’t drink. Alcohol is so damaging, so unnecessary. I’ve lived my whole life without it–so I know. Look at all the lives lost to the addiction of alcohol.

Some medications cost about $100/pill or dose. In know this. I was a caregiver for a bit the last few years. My thyroid meds (which I weaned myself off of) weren’t that expensive, but some eye meds I used for my dad were pricey, like that.

Wintertime, about February, in Minnesota, can be a trial of spirit.

(This year not so much! We have no snow to speak of!)

Usually we have gray skies and deep snow, sub zero temps and few hours of sunlight. Yes, days are getting longer, but we are far from the summer solstice still in June.

I have learned to stare at pictures of turquoise waters and white beaches—you know those calendar photos from the dollar store? It’s therapy.

Since my husband’s death I have taken steps to actually see the sunshine, get some warmth and vitamin D this time of year.

My friend, also my bridesmaid over 30 years ago, the one who literally brought Brian and me together—we have renewed our friendship and decided to meet up in Florida in January.

I snapped up a deal from Sun Country for $97/roundtrip, Minneapolis to Orlando. Expedia offered me a great deal on hotel, too, no more than “my” hotel charges here. This is medication cost, in my opinion.

My friend and I spent two full days soaking up the sun at the hotel. No sightseeing, just relaxed catching up.

Balm to my soul, medicine for my spirit.

Our friendship goes way back. My uncle and aunt, and her parents were all missionaries in Africa. They had a connection which extended to me. When she and I both found ourselves at Wheaton College as freshmen we immediately linked up. We were both in Germany at the same time, too.

She raised six kids, (including triplets!) and I raised five. This was understandably a distraction from our friendship, but we kept in touch.

It is delightful to reconnect.

I am so blessed by our friendship, our time together, and the past couple of respite days.

I feel I can survive February AND March.

God is good.

This new year has started out for me with four funerals. Each one has been a blessing in its own way, but this post is not about funerals.

I head to school in moments, but I wanted to drop by here quickly and check in. It’s been awhile.

I guess I’ve been contemplative.

I can’t stand that word any more because of all the “woke” spiritual connotations, but it works here.

Our language matters.

I am seeking balance in my single life.

I am setting boundaries in my relationships.

I am prioritizing health because I can be more effective when I am healthy.

Those are my resolutions, my words for 2024.

For 2023 the words were beauty and love and peace. Wonderful words. I needed a year of reflection and healing.

I need to get back on my horse (so to speak) and in the saddle, and off to the races again.

Off to school…

MARANATHA!

I’m opening Christmas cards this morning. They are gifts from you to me. Thank you!

I am encouraged by your news, your sweet photos, your additions to family, and your faith. Bless you in 2024!

This will be a sort of Christmas letter to you. I work later today, at the hotel, and Cherie is working this morning. Ed is helping Grandma with washing dishes from last night’s Smorgasbord with Joe and his family.

My granddaughter and grandson blessed me last night—they are incredibly sweet and fun to be with!

I get to see my eldest grandson tomorrow.

It is the first time ever that I have been alone on Christmas day. But I know I am blessed. Things happen and you must accept them. It takes time to do so.

I have Corwyn and Yukichan here to keep me company. The cats have been in and out, in and out on this brown Christmas. Do you know how warm it is here? Amazing. We’ve had a warm December!

I am thankful. I haven’t had to plow, to shovel, to worry about icy roads!

My fire is on, and I am brewing tea in a beautiful mug that my brother and sister-in-law in New York got me for Christmas. My niece gave me some raspberry cookies, and I think I will splurge with them for breakfast.

Cookies for breakfast. I am a fan.

We had the traditional Smorgasbord last night: meatballs, potato sausage, rice pudding, Christmas cookies.

I got a visit from my brother-in-law and sister-in-law from Iowa last week, too, which was an extra boost! I hope to get down to Iowa to visit Brian’s family this week if weather cooperates.

Yesterday I received beautiful renditions of “Silent Night” from my Chinese friends. I was touched.

My sprained foot/ankle colored my week of preparation. I am much better, but the pain is still there and it frustrates me that I can’t take the dogs out for a walk.

My lack of exercise since our trip to Japan is lamentable. Must make some serious New Year’s resolutions!

Two of my cousins have passed away recently. This is always sobering. This year one of my aunts, and my last uncle passed. A distant relative who was a great friend to my mom and a real true supporter of Corgi Hollows passed away this fall, too. Sadness for my mom and me. Another relative passed two days ago. I am trying to accept this new era of my life. We all must face it as we approach old age.

I am blessed that my mom is in great health. I can see that she is gracefully slowing down. I am so blessed that Ed and Cherie are here with me, helping with things she needs.

Such a blessing!

Thanks for stopping by this Christmas. I felt that many of you did via cards and greetings. I am grateful for your friendship, your love, your support.

Count your blessings. Name them, one by one. See what the Lord has done!

MARANATHA!

I’m listening to a Chinese artist these days, Mao Bu Yi, who has a pretty, soft voice with sweet songs. This blog post title is one of his prettiest songs. It’s about growing old and relationship.

Songs help me learn the language. It is hard to find particular songs without knowing some of the characters in the title. It is sleuthing at its best for a language learner like myself.

The Christmas/birthday season is upon Corgi Hollows. Cherie and I have been decorating, culling decorations that we haven’t used for awhile, finding the essence of our memories in others.

Whether or not you celebrate Christmas, this end of year holiday serves as a time marker. I have a little notebook with a Christmas Chickadee on the cover that I keep as a Christmas journal. I only write about the Christmas in it, whatever I can remember, menus, gift ideas, gifts received (I have such a bad memory about that!)

I haven’t sent Christmas cards in so long. I love getting them, but the tribulations of the past few years have thwarted my own sending.

Tribulations.

I fell carrying Christmas stuff last week and badly sprained my foot/ankle. I couldn’t walk for a day, but a little boot really did the trick for helping me get mobile. I’m supposed to be “off it” for a week at least.

I still hurt.

Falling at age 60 is not falling at age 30. I got a taste of what the end of my life may be like, alone with the dogs and cats. My pups were immediately on top of me…concerned? !

That is why I pray for the Rapture!

Then on Sunday night the downstairs once again flooded with water. I have battled water in this house since we moved in. Cherie said yesterday, “Let’s just build a swimming pool downstairs, Mom.”

I was able to get a plumber to come and help us yesterday afternoon. It’s actually a major problem which requires tearing up the concrete floor and replacing corroded iron pipe.

We’re looking at major.

Tribulations.

Right now the downstairs bathroom will be out of commission until this summer when more excavating can occur.

I guess it had to happen?

Sometimes you wonder. I am at the mercy of the experts. I have no clue how to deal with things like this, so I’m ripe for being taken advantage of.

I have trust issues to begin with. Dealing with “professionals” who are also strangers is somewhat uncomfortable for me.

I cherish the friends that have helped me, particularly with past water problems, and the water heater which broke the same week Brian left us. Such wonderful friends came and helped me with these tribulations. Also my septic system.

I will always be grateful for that help that horrible time after Brian passed away. Great is your reward in heaven!

Since we have an older house I should expect maintenance issues. In Japan they must rebuild stuff every 40 years, says Ed. Earthquake regulations require constant monitoring of buildings housing millions of apartments and offices.

This house is about 70 years old. I guess major repair is to be expected. Regardless of earthquakes. Minnesota is the most geologically stable land on earth. We have blizzards and tornadoes.

I’m thankful I can run next door to use the facilities while Corgi Hollows undergoes major repair. What a blessing! Count your blessings!

Also, here in Minnesota it is a very warm winter. It’s easy to be outside and get around. No snow yet. Another blessing for me, though of course everyone seems to want a White Christmas!

It’s the season of gift giving. What can I give you? I can only assure you that God is sovereign. God won’t leave you even though things are HARD. Because of my own Job-like experiences I have been gifted with this knowledge on a deeper level. Even when you question Him, feel frustrated with His plan for you, weep, the underlying truth is that He cares for you.

Jesus is Lord. He is the Christ. God is love. God provides. God is a Father to His children, a husband to the widow, the faithful one who does not leave us alone. He will never leave nor forsake us believers.

Keep praying. Keep trusting. Keep waiting and watching.

MARANATHA

Cherie and I have checked our notes a few times, and even if she is 20-something and I am 60-something we both had some discord about our schedule in Japan. The days are in danger of becoming a blur with stark impressions and moments of clarity.

At least we have those!

I left off at the day we were to go to Kyoto, but I wanted to mention that we walked into the Ginza area to see the high-end shops on Tuesday, too.

We found a book store that had a display of Tasha Tudor stuff! I guess she is (rightfully!) popular in Japan! She is the reason I love corgis!

Wednesday morning we got up really early and subwayed to Tokyo Station, found the bullet train to Kyoto and began quite the adventure.

We were offered picture perfect views of a snow-clad Mount Fuji from the train. It was even blushing in morning sun. This is a moment of clarity I will keep in my mind.

There is nothing like seeing something in person that you have seen photos of all your life. Remember those “viewmasters” we had in the 60’s ? (Perhaps before that….) We had one disc with shots of Mount Fuji. This is also a memory of clarity for me.

Arriving at Kyoto presented a challenging mission: find a temple garden that had been recommended by our savvy friend. There are dozens (hundreds?) of temples and gardens in this historical city. It was formerly the imperial capital of Japan, before Tokyo. The architecture and the setting of this town is quite mesmerizing.

We purchased day passes on the Kyoto transportation: unlimited bus and subway for the day. It seemed to be the way to go with our limited time there. We bussed to the Nanzen ji temple, spent a couple of hours walking around the extensive grounds. There are several gardens in that area.

After that we found a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant that served both udon and rice bowl—delicious and inexpensive. It was on a back alley, far from the crowds.

On to the subway, off to the old Imperial Palace.

This, for me, was a highlight of the trip. Such a beautiful garden, gorgeous buildings, and a nice shop to buy souvenirs. Such kind people!

Cherie wanted to find a “real” tea shop, so we searched for such a place on Google and made our way there. After walking all day, up and down hill (Kyoto is nestled between mountains) I conked out and waited patiently on a street while Ed and Cherie found the tea shop. That was their adventure.

My feet were ACHING after this day.

I ate something called “omurice” at the train station in Kyoto before we caught our train back to Tokyo. This is a combo of omelette and rice—fixed Japanese style.

It’s good.

The cake at this place was just delicious. Kiln-baked—caramel, whipped cream, soft—-!

The ride back to Tokyo was in the dark. Only flashes of light were seen on occasion.

Surprise! Nine o’clock at night Tokyo is ALIVE with young people! I couldn’t believe the masses of people at Tokyo station that evening!

We were exhausted, so we subwayed home to Shiomi, Koto and slept well that night.

Thursday: still tired and foot sore, we took the subway to the bay area, a large park on the bay. There are several sights and attractions at this spot: an aquarium, a historical structure that is like a massive piece of art with the history of the area archived, a large Ferris wheel, and a few gardens and bird sanctuary.

This garden was also enticing. It seemed so private. Only a large crow joined us in this space.

Friday we made it back to Shibuya area for some more shopping and a ramen stop. After that we took the subway to the Hama Detached Palace Garden which was built by a Shogun long ago.

We enjoyed tea and a Japanese sweet with ceremony in the “floating tea house.” Ulysses S. Grant was entertained at this place once.

Quiet peace and beauty amidst the skyscrapers of Tokyo…a delightful surprise.

Ed stood next to an aloe that dwarfed him in the garden here. Tokyo is surprisingly tropical! Surprising to me, at least. Things can grow all year long.

We made an executive decision to walk back from the palace garden that evening. Wow.

Through the fish market area, over multiples of bridges (Tokyo must be like Venice!) and finally back to our hotel after seeing stunning views of the night cityscapes. We could see Tokyo Tower, the Sky Tree, and, of course, many skyscrapers all lit in colorful lights.

Many Christmas lights were glowing as well.

Tired, but we had enough energy to pack everything for the journey home the next day.

Because of our bargain-basement air fare we flew back through Montreal and Chicago on our way to Minneapolis. We knew it would be a long trip, and it was. We left for Narita airport at 1:00 pm from our hotel, after a luscious buffet breakfast there.

We took a taxi to Tokyo Station, an express bus to Narita Airport from there.

After checking in we had quite the wait for our flight to Montreal. More time to try a few Japanese foods.

With a nine-hour layover in Chicago we had chatted about driving home, but it really wasn’t bad spending the night at O’hare.

We were back in Minneapolis before 9 am!

Would we go back to Japan?

Can’t wait!

Some impressions of Japan, for me: people. People, people, people!!! Business people! Suits (“salarymen”) and women, uniform fashion—golden tan wool coats, touches of lime green. black, navy, white shirts and blouses.

People well-groomed and well-heeled, polite (to a fault!) and reserved.

Icy professionals, strong and capable women.

Friendly restaurant employees.

“Arigato ogesimus” –it rang out like lines from a play. People seemed to be performing a grand production.

The air was crisp and cool. It was fall. Flowers were still in bloom many places. We had beautiful weather. It only rained one morning.

Clock-like efficiency, hoards of moving people, small children dressed in darling little uniforms.

Clean.

Delicious food.

Politeness.

In all our time there we never connected with a Japanese person personally. No conversations or sharing of our lives. I did talk to a German woman at the Imperial Gardens in Tokyo, and we connected.

It seems awesome that in a city of 37 million people one foreigner couldn’t meet one native and share a bit about life.

I was told that people are shy.

I was impressed by the loneliness.

Perhaps I imagined this? It was just an impression.

Still, I felt a peacefulness there, even if it wasn’t spiritual. I know there is spiritual darkness in Japan: only 1 million Christians among 130 million population.

That is darkness.

There is something awesome about Japan.

They do life well—efficiently, effectively, productively, cleanly.

I can see that they think they are fine without God.

Pray for Japan.

Can you write several posts about a nine-day experience?

Well, I am going to, at least, I want to.

It was 2012 when Brian and I, Ed and Cherie left for a November vacation in Germany. That was memorable for so many reasons. We reconnected with many old friends from our days living in that beautiful place.

That was our last real “vacation.” Each year Brian and I said we’d do something for our November wedding anniversary, but life became complicated. We did nothing, unfortunately, for those intense years.

I must set the stage for this epic journey we just experienced. My readers have followed all the tragedy that has beset our family, but a new reader may need a setting.

This trip to Japan arose out of that chaotic past.

In the midst of Ed’s cancer he began to learn Japanese. Interested in languages for several years even before that he honed in on Japanese after learning a bit of Esperanto, then some Russian, and dabbling in German.

At that time Cherie and Margaret had discovered Korea and all its pop culture charm. A natural at foreign language, Cherie picked some Korean up.

I was late to the party, but my interest in East Asia came in the months after Brian’s death. China was as far away as I could get from my own circumstances, physically. God works in mysterious ways. The spark caught fire, and we three began a new phase.

When time and opportunity presented itself we struck our chance to actually go to East Asia, and since Ed had the best reasons to experience his language we chose Japan first. We celebrated his graduation from the University of Minnesota College of Engineering in computer engineering. This was a graduation gift, of sorts. It was also a long anticipated vacation.

Finding bargain airfare and hotel facilitated the experience! Also, the economic powers handed us a strong dollar in Japan.

We did “bargain Japan.”

So, how did it go?

All three of us look forward to going back, and Ed is going forward with a possible move to Japan.

We had some distinct advantages, for one, our son and daughter-in-law’s friends live in Japan. These two sisters have chosen to move there and pursue interesting careers. The older sister is an artist, as well as a TV personality there. She produces documentaries there.

She knows Japan, and speaks the language. She was the perfect person to guide us.

After a 13 hour flight from Montreal to Tokyo we got a taxi from Narita airport to our hotel in Koto. That was expensive, but three tired travelers and luggage justified the expense. We checked into our hotel that evening.

Sunday morning we followed our friend’s directions to the subway and found our way to Shibuya crossing, the one with the statue of the dog, Hachi. The crossing is also extremely famous in Japan. It’s one you may have seen on video clips: thousands of people criss-crossing an intersection at once. It’s ordered chaos. We did it a couple of times.

It works pretty well!

That Sunday there was a celebration of Hachi the dog being 100 years ago. You can imagine the crowds. That plaza is popular for gatherings. In the times we were there we saw protests and new pop groups, as well as the celebration event for Hachi.

Our friends took us to a hot pot restaurant in that area where we each got a bowl of boiling broth and we cooked our own meats and vegetables.

I learned something I thought interesting: Lotus root is popular in East Asia, but it was difficult to obtain in America. Water chestnuts have a similar texture and essence of lotus root. Asian cuisine in America substituted them for the traditional favorite. I got to try lotus root and I really liked it. It looks interesting in a hot pot, too.

We were blessed to have a good friend fly in from Seoul, Korea for the afternoon with us! We enjoyed a relaxing time over hot pot. I think that is the reason for this type of meal–just a time to catch up with each other over good food. It takes a bit of time to cook it so you must slow down.

Our objective in Japan was Japanese Gardens, as many as we could see in a non-frenzied way. Having a theme for the week was pivotal to our sense of accomplishment.

The first Sunday was a trial run on the subway system, Monday we walked five miles from our hotel to the Imperial gardens —-which were closed—and then took the subway “home.” Just walking the streets of Tokyo was fascinating.

We also discovered the joys of convenience stores in Japan: coffee, rice and filling wrapped in seaweed (laver) as a satisfying meal, anything needed, and so convenient! We stopped in to a grocery store for fruit, too. One of my goals was to buy a particular apple in Japan. They have the world’s largest apples. I found something that may be akin to it, an apple/pear fruit that was perfectly sweet and delicious. The large apple I eventually found was also good.

Jet lag hit us some those first two days, so we were happy to keep it light. On Tuesday we took the subway to the Imperial gardens, spent several hours walking around and then headed back to the hotel.

The gardens are free to enter on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.

Japanese maples were just starting to turn, but we learned that the colors were “disappointing” this year. I thought the subtle color was lovely.

We ate at a sort of fast food restaurant, very inexpensive. I had udon, which is a thicker noodle soup. Ed and Cherie both had a rice dish with meat. Very satisfying.

That night we made reservations for the Shincansen, bullet train, to Kyoto and back, for Wednesday.

This was also sort of pricey, but with a shorter time span in Japan it made sense to spend the cost of quick transportation. I will cover Kyoto in the next post.

As I recover from jet lag here at home I have to get things back in order here. Dogs and cats did well with our new friends who stayed and house-sat. Still, they clearly missed us and have been sticking close to us since we returned. There is a lot to catch up on, and a Thanksgiving meal to prepare for tomorrow. I was called in to the hotel to work, too, already, so —More to come!

Sometimes it is fun to share the projects I am busy with.

Lately I’ve knit several sweaters, baby things, and a scarf, painted plaques to give out in Japan, and unearthed all the sewing stuff.

I’ve got several sewing projects to complete: a peasant top, a dress, a few bathrobes, and whatever else I can drum up. Cherie and I are working on multiple things.

I like to make flannel blankies for babies: a square yard of 100% cotton flannel with cotton yarn crocheted around the edge with a sharp hook. They are durable and useful.

I love knitting baby socks, too.

They are so quick!

Lately I’ve used panels that Ed has knit on his knitting machine, edging them for baby sensory mats. They are colorful and soft, and really fun to create.

I’m still working on my Kensington Runestone book for children. The illustrations are about 1/3rd complete.

It’s more involved than I thought it would be.

I’ll publish it over on my Google blog eventually.

When I “Fortress” I make stuff. I’m busy.

As the temps get cool and the fireplaces are lit it is time to welcome the crafts again. My hands itch to make another sweater…

I hope to finish a few more of my little plaques today.

It’s Monday morning and I turned down a job for today to get my mind straightened out for upcoming business.

I’ve been full of negativity lately, but I thought this morning that I could be more encouraging to my readers.

Perhaps it is the message of James, the book written by Jesus’ brother.

Joy. Joy in trouble.

In so many ways I am “winning in life.” Whatever that phrase means, to me it means that I have countless blessings.

I’ve learned much over the years with these “offices” I have held; student, sales-girl, nurse’s aide, farmer, horse woman, dog lover, cat lover

Daughter, sister, wife, mom, grandma (Omi), friend

Army wife (officer’s wife), wife of an electrical engineer, wife of a genius, widow

Teacher, student as middle aged adult (MPA), camp staff, Sunday School teacher, financial advisor/insurance sales, non-profit COO, deli worker, hotel concierge/laundry, home-school mom

Writer, artist, musician, reader, knitter—and all needle arts, language learner (German, Turkish, Spanish, Hebrew, Greek, Chinese)

Missionary

Christian

That is my resume, and I can speak from experience in all these areas. It’s the path I’ve been led on.

Chalk up various unusual life events, too. Travel, mountain climbing, concerts, family things, sorrows and loss.

Ich habe vielen Sachen erlebt.

I’ve experienced much.

I cook and bake, too, now infrequently, but for years I held things together with my thrift in the kitchen.

I’ve qualified for welfare in the past, but I have known richness too.

I know how to handle snow and weather, ski, skate, and play tennis.

I like baseball, soccer, and hockey. I’m a Vikings football fan. I’ve only ever been to one of their games in my life.

I can tow and back a camper-trailer, run a riding lawn mower, and care for an acreage.

I’ve lived in several places, but I know Minnesota the best.

So if I share a “life hack” I’ve learned I am passing on information that has blessed me. I do not claim to be an expert, but life has offered me experience that is tried and true.

Since I’ve dealt with most human experiences, including mental illnesses and cancer, among other things I can offer my counsel in healing and recovery.

I am not claiming authority, only sharing a burden, nudging with an experienced outlook.

Go ahead and laugh at my list! I admit that some things seem funny, but all were learned with blood, sweat, and tears. Trials and fails, trouble and practice.

I am an approachable introvert. I won’t bite you. I like helping.

INFJ to the core, if that says something.

(I actually took the official MB test, so I know)

Recently I have encountered a whole different set of life experiences, some that I’d never imagined I’d deal with in my life. I cannot elaborate, because of difficult circumstances, but trust me, I’m gifted with new capabilities and outlook.

Fragility, vulnerability, and victim-hood are a part of my life. Change.

But God is leading me through this for a purpose and a reason, to give me HOPE and a FUTURE.

I can still bless others through the blessings He has bestowed on me.

I have hope.

I only ask that Jesus comes quickly.
MARANATHA!

This Sunday afternoon it is bright and sunny, a perfect day to romp with the dogs in the hayfield. We romped.

God is teaching me some things lately. I am a slow learner, so things are gradually applied in my life. I am headstrong, stubborn, and I often think my way is the best—hence I acquire and lose friends often.

Today I found out something about my grief process, my new beginning in life and my outlook. Church was pretty effective today.

Our pastor is preaching on James, and I think that he wrote his sermon for me.

Two things: God isn’t finished with me, and pain brings joy.

That is not in a weird way, but in a profitable way. The trouble I experience can ultimately bring God’s bigger plan to fruition, as He allowed it for my good.

I won’t see that good here on earth, probably, but I can still have hope.

It’s all about hope.

I understand that the way I had been before all my trouble didn’t work well ultimately, but the trouble has led me to a new place of growth, so completely different from where I was. My faith, though still intact, went through a transformation along with my life.

I still have hope.

I can still “hear” the Spirit’s promptings, though I feel so distant in my pain most of the time.

God is still at work.

He does not abandon His children, but it may seem like it for a season.

Yes, I am stronger now. I can stand with God’s help. I am not as lonely, more capable, and prepared to finish life on my own.

A new path has opened up for me.

Grief is now woven into my life. It comes unasked for, unexpectedly, whenever. It is part of my new pattern.

I have hope.

MARANATHA!