Such a Beautiful Fall

This Sunday afternoon it is bright and sunny, a perfect day to romp with the dogs in the hayfield. We romped.

God is teaching me some things lately. I am a slow learner, so things are gradually applied in my life. I am headstrong, stubborn, and I often think my way is the best—hence I acquire and lose friends often.

Today I found out something about my grief process, my new beginning in life and my outlook. Church was pretty effective today.

Our pastor is preaching on James, and I think that he wrote his sermon for me.

Two things: God isn’t finished with me, and pain brings joy.

That is not in a weird way, but in a profitable way. The trouble I experience can ultimately bring God’s bigger plan to fruition, as He allowed it for my good.

I won’t see that good here on earth, probably, but I can still have hope.

It’s all about hope.

I understand that the way I had been before all my trouble didn’t work well ultimately, but the trouble has led me to a new place of growth, so completely different from where I was. My faith, though still intact, went through a transformation along with my life.

I still have hope.

I can still “hear” the Spirit’s promptings, though I feel so distant in my pain most of the time.

God is still at work.

He does not abandon His children, but it may seem like it for a season.

Yes, I am stronger now. I can stand with God’s help. I am not as lonely, more capable, and prepared to finish life on my own.

A new path has opened up for me.

Grief is now woven into my life. It comes unasked for, unexpectedly, whenever. It is part of my new pattern.

I have hope.

MARANATHA!