When Brian died two years ago I received dozens of cards and memorial gifts. I opened them up, read them, and put them in a big box to re-read carefully at a later date.
I gave the money to a ministry that both of us cherished.
Yesterday I went through some photos that were chosen to remember Brian. As I placed them in an album I was overcome with waves of sadness.
I know why I haven’t been able to look at the big box of memorial cards. I’m not ready yet.
Sudden and unexpected death is very different from any other kind. Brian was healthy, young, strong, and happy. His death was a total shock. Heart failure.
I was shocked for months.
I guess I’m still in the recovery period.
I know where he is. That hasn’t changed.
I still struggle with thinking about his death.
Perhaps I’m abnormal. I don’t know.
I don’t really care if I’m normal or not. I’m coping.
Thank you, all of you who remembered us and wrote to us at that time.
I do cherish your interest and thoughts.
Please know that I have been retreating, restarting, reevaluating. I haven’t forgotten you. I’m still “dealing.”
Thank you.