Month: September 2026

I love Jeremiah 29:11. It’s that verse that I recite in my mind regularly, if not constantly. But just a couple chapters later, in chapter 31, verse 3, there is a statement: I have loved you with an everlasting love.

A few years ago I purchased a little book for all of my children, a copy for each. It’s called “Just Decrees for Your Life,” by Sebastien Richard.

I am no prosperity gospel proponent, as you already know, but this book is Scripture to be read out loud, declared, and thought of in our daily lives.

There is no magic, just truth.

Growing up I dealt with a poor self image. Those of you who know me (in person) see a short, stocky, plain gal. I look like a northern European peasant.

But in my family I was an anomaly. I have tall, slender relatives. I never felt my appearance was okay, and that is sad, because God made me. I let the beauty standards of the 70’s and 80’s fix my mindset.

But beauty isn’t everything about a person. I was always told “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised.”

I believe that. It is Scripture, after all.

But over time I felt unloved and unworthy by the world’s standards. It sort of seeped into my core.

Age did me no favors!

God doesn’t give up on us, though, and I kept asking Him why He loved me. What was there to love? I’m just a selfish sinner, homely and worth little.

I could see His amazing care for me, but I didn’t understand it.

When tragedies hit my life (I can truly relate to JOB) I wondered if it was punishment or discipline, persecution or God’s rejection.

Tragedies are part of life. Some of us deal with more of them than others.

But this season of quiet grief and loss I have been “declaring” Jeremiah 31:3 out loud.

Everlasting love. God loves me with an everlasting love. ME.

Unworthy me.

What in the world does He see fit to love in me? I certainly see nothing.

But HE HAS declared His love for me.

And I start to believe it.

That I am saved by Christ’s sacrifice is something my belief has accepted for my life. I put my faith in Christ. I am declared righteous by His atonement. My salvation is solid. Christ alone.

But the worthiness of God’s love still comes hard for me to fathom.

I don’t understand it at all.

Why in the world??—

Would He love me?

A light seeps in the dark room, though, lately. It is like a matter of faith for me. Perhaps it is for you, too?

He loves me. He declares His love for even me. I need to believe it, and perhaps, just perhaps, I start to, even in my old age.

I don’t see myself as God sees me. He created me. I am His handiwork, certainly affected by this fallen, sinful world. God sees something lovable.

My heart is being softened. I see progress.

We are loved.

Now we see through a glass darkly. It’s only a part of the picture. We will see HIM, face to face, and that is all we need. We need to be looking at HIM, and not ourselves.

God is love.

MARANATHA!

Whenever life gives a major change it is wise to trim the sails.

The gales of change can be hard to manage, and life must take a slower, but steady, path forward. Smaller sails are sufficient for progress.

For me, trimming the sails means streamlining my calendar. Fewer moments to spend with friends and family, but more time for mental clarity and health.

It’s a bit selfish, but it protects the body and the mind.

Also, grief has a way of rising up and overwhelming everything. It sabotages like a breaking wave on the shore.

I find my feet mired in the unexpected surge.

As we navigate my mother’s passing and subsequent settlement of her affairs, I have tried to keep up with the commitments of normal life: teaching, swimming, church, and housekeeping.

I must go through my mom’s things, and it is a blessing to see so many interesting and sweet memories surface. This huge task will soon be complete and life can resume its hum.

Perhaps.

We don’t know what the future holds, but we know who holds the future.

Ed came out for a work break to chat about Artificial Intelligence when I got home from school today. Watching global trends can be concerning. I try to trim my sails regarding information, but we all cannot help keeping current with the obvious change.

Politics, tech, spirituality; all these things fascinate and affect.

They contribute to the currents.

Perhaps this isn’t a storm in my life, as has been the case in past losses, but the gale is significant. It’s nothing to ignore, or I will be on a sinking ship.

Better to be steady and cautious.

Come soon, Lord Jesus!

MARANATHA!

I subbed my first day yesterday, and thankfully, it was quite nice. It was fun to greet the kids from the elementary school at the Middle School.

I’m practically a grandma to all of them, so it’s reassuring for them to see me again. Sweet smiles.

I have a thing for strawberries, and the kids know it. I got about 20 drawn pictures of strawberries yesterday.

My mom liked strawberries in decor, too, and I am gleaning some of those things from her home.

Corgi Hollows North is going up for sale.

New neighbors for us here at Corgi Hollows…and close ones, at that.

These two homes have always shared many things, including a driveway and a mailbox stand, but of course multiple other things as well.

I pray that the right people get that lovely piece of land.

Our new neighbors to the south (also a home that was once a part of the original land) got a lovely little chestnut horse over the weekend.

It likes to canter around the pasture, and it calls to its people regularly. It seems a sweet personality. I think it needs a buddy, but perhaps in time.

It is bittersweet going through my (very organized) mom’s home. I find little things from my childhood and wonder at my memories.

I can’t get rid of stuff yet, I must sit with things for awhile and refresh those olden days. Soon it will go all away.

We are waiting for the grand-kids to come and claim their things from Grandma.

The house still teems with life, and my brother is in and out and the interim pastor is living there for now. It makes the transition from my mom living there to what is next easier!

There was a hint of fall in the air this morning. Our porch, a summer spot, where I do my morning Bible reading, will soon be shut up for the winter.

There is a healing feeling about that space, screened in from mosquitoes. I spent the summer there, in the fresh air, but protected space. It was a sweet spot to grieve and contemplate losses of the season.

We need spaces to grieve.

I like to read promises and declarations from the Bible out loud at times. There is a privacy in the porch, despite being “outside.”

I will truly miss it this winter, and look forward to next spring.

Fall is such a beautiful season, yet there is much to get done, this year in particular.

Ed’s Japanese garden progresses some. I like the pond very much. This morning I greeted a small frog, who quickly swam to the bottom.

Water is simply an attraction.

There was a banner crop of acorns this year. The squirrels will certainly survive. They are probably fat from all their snacking right now. You cannot drive into the driveway without the fanfare of crushing acorns under the wheels. No one can sneak in!

They also ricochet off the roof, and it sounds like gunshot. Kind of stressful. Cheri is researching things to do with acorns, like dyeing, or grinding into flour.

Hum-drum goings-on, but the days are filled with sunshine and healing.

I hope the new neighbor likes peace and quiet. I hope he or she is a handy person. (I am not!) I hope that we have a great neighborly friendship.

My son-in-law’s daughter gave birth a month ago, so now I am a step-great-grandma! Pray with me for that little one.

God is always good, and I really think Jesus is coming back to get us in the air soon.

MARANATHA!!!